In that short video Chris puts the RPG guy down, but not the kid. It’s important to see the difference in Chris’ face when he pulls the trigger for the RPG guy and then almost for the kid. There’s a difference, right? But a Vet might say…
When I killed a guy like the RPG guy, I mean, that guy was still some guy, the son of his mother, the husband of a wife, the father of his kids, caught up in some horror much bigger than him, and it haunts me…. it just does…. especially because, you know, in myself, while I was pulling the trigger, I mean, I really enjoyed it, because I was killing a bad guy who was a danger to us, to me and my brothers on the scene. I don’t think I can be forgiven because it was such a rush of adrenaline and and it was like, YEAH! I GOT HIM! which is inhuman now that I think about it. I should have regretted it and I guess I did, but right then, you should have seen the wryness of my smile. That smirk could have killed someone all on its own.
Sure you can be forgiven. That reaction of fallen human nature is to be expected. You can count on it. That doesn’t mean you’re a monster. You did what you had to do. Just because your emotions went overboard doesn’t mean a thing. It’s a cross to carry. Pray for the repose of the souls of those you killed, and their families. That’s O.K. It’s not hypocritical.
Also, just to say, what if you killed innocents, you know, just to do it? Can you be forgiven for that? Yes, you can. Go to confession. There isn’t a sin greater than our Lord’s mercy. He loves us, and let Himself be killed in our stead. Jesus is the warrior. He has the right in His own justice to have mercy on us, to claim us as His booty, bringing us to heaven to give as a gift to our heavenly Father.
Look, all you Vets out there. Don’t beat yourselves up. Be good friends with Jesus.
And to all of us, let’s go to Confession!