Get a framed picture – and put it up – of Our Lady of Guadalupe – or a little statue, and make a shrine for it – and then get a flower, any flower, even like a gone-to-seed dandelion, and put that in front of that image. And then say a Hail Mary. This changes everything, as it gives you hope. I want you to know that you have hope. Anyone can do this. Kinda like that one painting:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.