After taking care of some things in northeast Atlanta on the “Day-Off”, and since I was right next to the new campus of FBI Atlanta outside the city (directly across the street from CDC), I thought I might see about some having a chat about some options for the “perpetual program” I’m on. It’s true that an Ambassador at Main State put me on that program, but the FBI seriously entrenched me all the more in the program in conjunction with Main State not long after that. I came prepared with some relevant documents. Not that I would need them. Having found the campus, I called up the security building.
A recording comes on with a woman’s voice warning you that the call is recorded and will be an analyzed. I like it. No, I take that back. I love it. They do a 15 minute menu to scare off any caller, first of all because of the time, but then also because of the menu options. It’s like… If you have direct information on an imminent attempt on the life of the President, the Vice-President or immediate families, press 1. – If you know of an imminent nuclear attack on the USA, those who are carrying this out and where they are right now, press 2. Blah blah blah. Finally, there’s an option for “Other”. I pressed that since nothing I have is equivalent to an imminent nuclear holocaust. The recording then started again for another 15 minutes. This gets rid of druggies who would never have the patience.
That recording finishes, and then it’s automatically piggybacked by another recording, this time with a guy’s voice who, on the recording, really impatiently demands your first and last name (at least he didn’t use expletives), and while you’re quickly saying your name the digital guy even more impatiently immediately demands that you state your name again – with raised pitch in his voice – and then without a break, even while you’re saying your name repeatedly, the recording digitally says that since there was no response he’s going to have to terminate the communication, you know, with a voice of a tender snowflake who sounds like he’s been micro-aggressioned beyond his limit for the day – how to describe it? – kind of like a quiet shriek, ever so offended that you had the gall to stay on the line all this time without hanging up. Mind you, this is all purposed to bait you into saying something stupid out of frustration. Playing the game, I did say something, though nothing stupid. “Wow” was my recorded response that they can “analyze” as the recording promises to do. “I did try to say my name…” Having gotten that response, the recording then hangs up. It is to laugh. I guess that gets rid of 99.99% of all callers who press the “Other” option. It also gives a chance for the security crowd to do research on the phone number and identity of the caller and triangulate your position. I like that. Smart. Although, one does get the impression that the FBI is trying a little too much with the inclusivity in all things thing. Somehow they got the tender snowflakes included. That took some imagination.
So, I called again, knowing that I’m now in a group of 0.01% of callers. So, this time another recording came on with yet another set of menu options threatening another 15 minutes and an analysis of anything you say. This time the recording was a guy sounding a bit like James Earl Jones. Very cool, that. The vast majority of the remaining 0.01% are going to hang up within a minute. I persevered, of course, always game to do the gaming thing. So, then, of course, soon enough a live super polite security lady came on the line and said to come on over to the security building. Great!
To be continued… I mention all this gaming the gaming game as this will be consonant with what happens next.