Pre-Covid-1984 here in Cherokee County of far Western North Carolina, the Atlanta U.S. Census Bureau paid me a visit at my little church in Andrews, requesting that I become a “partner” in the effort to make “The Count” a success, what with most Latinos being Catholic and with me having a Spanish Mass. They really want the Latinos counted. In fact, I was the very first contact for partnering that was made in the region.
Me being a troublemaker, I put some tough questions before the regional coordinator about mathematics and statistics and illegal immigration and the sharing of information with such as ICE, as well as about the use of information for gerrymandering so as to sway an upcoming election. The regional coordinator touted doctoral degrees with Jesuits no less, and had done work for DARPA, surely DARPA COMPASS, which, by one in 330,000,000 chances, is coincidental to my involvement in DARPA COMPASS. The responses were rather non-committal.
As the months went by I saw some stories about the Census being used, in fact, for gerrymandering so as to sway elections. It’s about as old as what is called the first profession. But this was a big deal as recently as the last presidential election in 2016.
Writing to this regional coordinator I asked about this potential difficulty, and was assured that talking points were provided to them about this. And that was it. No answers were given to me.
Instead, I was receiving multiple emails inviting me to be special at a special meeting for all the partnering going on. At the same time, I was getting messages on my phone saying that the Census Bureau lost my email address and could I call them up and let them know what it is again. Um. No.
Trump did up an executive order forbidding the Census Bureau to use information for gerrymandering. Smart. The very same day this regional coordinator resigned. Did I mention that it was the very same day. ;-)
Meanwhile, not long after, just the other week, a rash of calls came in on the phone message recorder in the church office, demanding ever so very breathlessly and urgently that I immediately call back. I hate anything breathless, and so let it go. Another call, then another. Two guys and three numbers, all going to Houston, even though we’re in the Atlanta district.
Having some time driving to meet a priest friend to go up to the exorcism the other day I thought I would enjoy some entertainment by calling one of those numbers. After about ten minutes of preliminary talk about issues raised above we got down to brass tacks.
He said that he had some questions about my electronic submission of my census form. Hey! That’s interesting! I didn’t submit any electronic form. Mine was paper. I filled it out and sent it by way of the U.S. Postal Service. Only some people received the paper. Interesting that as well.
He was convinced that there was a raft of women and kids here who were not reported. Oh, you mean, I asked, like all those Sanctuary Movement Latinos escaping from pre-Sandinista Nicaragua back in the 1990s (before he was born, surely). They need to be declared he insisted. I told him if anyone is saying something like that by way of an electronic submission for the census, well, that would be fraud and will sue them into the ground.
More than this, the previous gerrymandering agent (just a conjecture, by the way), admitted that all Census response forms are manipulated by the Census Bureau so that no one can ever relate any particular form to the person who is responding, you know, to protect their privacy, you know, in case of hacking (which has happened, or was that the excuse?).
Having gone through the Ancestry DNA thing, I wrote down my two major DNA “ethnicities”. But that’s what the Census Bureau can change, enabling them to gerrymander districts so as to bring more services to certain underserved ethnicities, such as Latinos. But that can sway votes, sway elections, right?
And… and… there’s a financial motivation to say anything whatsoever on manipulated form. Census Bureau field operatives get a minimum of $10 bucks a pop for every house visited. But they can write whatever the hell they want. Money is to be had! Gerrymandering is the added benefit which, as per the history of it, happens all the time.
I think the whole lot of them should be slammed into prison. But they would be out in minutes.
I’m sure they would want to a SWAT on yours truly in retaliation, you know, to check on all those undocumented Latinos living in the house. He insisted multiple times that this was a legit question because, you know, it’s a “rectory.” There’s some prejudicial misbehavior for a Federal agent. I invite them to SWAT me out. Maybe they’ll slip on some dog-poop. That’s about all that’s here. Shadow-dog and Laudie-dog are quite healthy. Maybe they count as human! Maybe they’re Latinos! That’s about they level they are at, seems to me.
P.S. These guys should go visit the neighborhood drug house. It’s just a small house, but there can be dozens of “homeless” teens and twenty and thirty somethings in there, for years at a crack. Yes. Get those names. Most would have multiple felony warrants. But that information can’t be shared, right? And anyway, they will change all the details, as promised.
The whole thing is – as far as I can see – terribly corrupt – as bad as mail in ballots (not the absentee kind, but the simple mail in ones, already filled out and mailed for you by someone else).
I feel like doing some follow-up with this, say with the Atlanta Census Bureau. If these guys were scammers and not federal agents, well well, that would be a felony. :-)