Jackass for the Hour 2.0 – Next Pope: Day One

Most pundits have it that pastoral responses are what is primarily needed by the next pontificate, you know, reclaiming the papal states, corrections of corruption, abuses of power, all that belongs to the category prefaced by the phrase Nefas est… “It is the most despicable evil…” you know, all those crimes which cry out to the heavens for vengeance, as well as the wholesale condemnation of the Second Vatican Council and of any predecessor, etc.

Taking the Council of Trent as an example, half of the documents were of a doctrinal nature, and another half were labeled as Reform, that is, the incisive correction of idiocies. Yes, good. But…

Just my opinion, I think the next Pontiff ought best concentrate on clarity with all charity, you know, charity as clarity about the Living Truth who is Christ our God, our Lord and Savior, Jesus, Divine Son of the Immaculate Conception. Jesus is the One, the only One. Jesus has been cast aside. But He isn’t to be brought back, as if we could do that. We are instead to just get out of His way, to be His instruments for good. Jesus, the Body of Christ as Saint Paul puts it, Jesus the Head, we the members, Is the Church. The members must be in humble reverence before Him.

The original Jackass for the Hour, an ecclesiastical thriller novel about the murderous intrigue of interreligious dialogue, is basically unpublishable as it was concerned with what’s going to happen as a new Roman Pontiff is elected, that is, following upon Saint John Paul II. That was being written in the early Spring and then Summer of 2005. It’s now 2020, 15 years later. Things have changed somewhat. Things have gotten worse. Much.

It just hit me now, like, right this minute, that Jackass for the Hour needs an entire overhaul in both content, action, characters and overall format, to be even more of an ecclesiastical thriller novel full of divine irony that Chesterton called Christian humour, without which one cannot be a Christian, you know, like justice and mercy coming together upon the Cross in the Person of the Son of the Living God who, having been judged, will come to judge the living and the dead and the world by fire. So…

Envisaged is the surprise election of a total outsider to the Chair of Peter and follows developments over the space of his first 24 hours. That’s it. But that’s a lot. This might have to be split up into a Trilogy all on it’s own.

There’s a sequence which has to be well thought out prior to any election of any next Bishop of Rome, therefore the Successor of Peter. This is a second by second account, much like the original Jackass for the Hour. Some things depend on others. The acceptance. The name. The announcement. The Urbi et Orbi. All of that being delineated to the letter, and what happens between just those events.

Then the Holy Father announces that his installation will take place that very day, but then adds that even before this, exorcisms are immediately to take place for Vatican City, for Saint Peter’s Basilica, specifically for the altar of Saint Peter’s where the debelugma idol had been placed, in Vatican gardens especially in the places where the bedelugma idol worship took place and where fake “prayer” was offered to the fake god “Allah.

Then all the hell breaks out throughout Vatican City and the city of Rome as the express mandate of the Bishop of Rome is given to exorcists. In the mayhem, the Holy Father makes his way on foot and incognito to Saint John’s Basilica, the true Cathedral of Rome and the world for his installation. It is a secret route known only to a few throughout the centuries. Now sporting the Triple Crown and Fisherman’s Ring, he then sets about making a series of ex-Cathedra, infallible pronouncements emphasizing much needed truth. These pronouncements and the drama of objections will make up the meat of the novel with its moment by moment, hour by hour descriptions. Without a break, and by another route, the Holy Father will make his way back to Saint Peter’s, now abandoned by the crowds who are only now on their way to Saint John’s. At Saint Peter’s, the Holy Father himself offers a Solemn very Traditional High Mass as only the Holy Father himself can do, that is, after a visit to the sepulcher of Saint Peter below.

Readers are invited to suggest what might well belong to such a list of pronouncements. Reflect. Pray. Consult. Pray. Make a comment. Those may or may not be let through. Gotta keep some things secret after all. ;-)

There are a few of these items have been and are the subject of the most learned theologians in the world, Thomists all, from various countries, various continents.

Again, I know people are upset with the powers that be at the moment, but hold your wrath for vengeance and reform at bay for the first 24 hours of this papacy. There’s plenty of time for reform, perhaps by a successor, perhaps only 24 hours later. But, here’s the deal. You can’t have reform for that which you don’t love. You can’t love unless you have become acquainted with the object of that love, in this case, the Church, in this case, Christ our God, Divine Son of the Immaculate Conception.

Topics: Pray. Think. Pray again. Suggest in the comments.