You know you’re old when…

  • You know you’re old when they tell you that they can’t fit all the candles on your birthday cake, and so only use one.
  • You know you’re old when you don’t have enough wherewithal to blow out that one candle.
    • But this time it worked out. It’s a custom to make a wish (or a prayer) which is then supposed to come true or be answered if you’re successful in blowing out the candle(s). I prayed for the salvation of all the souls in the parish. I was unsuccessful in blowing out the candle. I was told to try again. So I said I’m going to have to think of something else. Everyone laughed. My prayer this time was for the salvation of all the souls in the parish with all extended families. I was successful. I hope that is answered well at the Judgment. :-)
  • You know you’re old when… you’re the oldest person in the church at Holy Mass and in the social hall afterward.
  • You know you’re old when… you can remember a birthday party a long time ago like it just happened…

Dad’s quite happy here, just getting the picture. My sisters were battling, however, about the background, with what picture on the wall was to behind us. But mom won the day. We moved seats, twice, ending up below some artwork depicting Jesus’ good mom, the Immaculate Conception.

  • Anyway, you know you’re old when you forget it was you’re birthday and all of a sudden people start singing Happy Birthday and they’re all looking at you, and only then you figure it out.
  • You know you’re old when you know more history than anyone else only because you lived through most of it yourself. And you know you’re old when you have to depend on other jokes about, “You know you’re old when…”
  • You know you’re old when lots of friends and family have preceded you to the next life.
  • You know you’re old when you think you’ve got it all figured out, then Jesus tells you that you don’t, not yet, and you actually listen to Jesus and take in that reprimand.
  • You know you’re old when you start praying like never before, like there’s no tomorrow, because now you’re convinced that you’re not immortal in this world, and you’re not depressed about this, but are filled with hope of the life to come, knowing that we can already begin to love the One in Whom we hope, for as Saint Paul says, grace, sanctifying grace, the indwelling of the Most Holy Trinity, turns to glory in heaven, a bond between this world and the next that is stronger than death, incomparably stronger, unbreakable on the Lord’s part.
  • You know you’re getting old when you start to say, “I don’t know why the good Lord still has me here in this world. I so long to be with Him in heaven.” I know an older gentleman who got a visit from a nurse from an insurance company, who asked him a lot of questions, one of which was, “How are you?” He responded, “Well, I’d rather be in heaven.” She said that she was going to write down that he was depressed, and he immediately said, “No! I’m not depressed! I love the good Lord and just want to praise Him in heaven! Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!” She said, “I’m writing down that you’re depressed.” Absolutely proving that he wasn’t depressed, that fellow speaks of the good Lord to whomsoever in the good hope that he will get them interested in praising the Lord and looking forward to going to heaven as well.
  • You know you’re old when your aches and pains are so numerous that your grade school maths would be inadequate to render an accounting.
  • You know you’re old when you know all the versions of the Happy Birthday song, such as “May you live ’til you die. May you live ’til you die. May you live ’til you die-e. May you will ’til you die.” …
  • And you know you’re old when ______________. (I’m sure you can fill in the blank…)


Filed under Spiritual life

15 responses to “You know you’re old when…

  1. pelerin

    You know you are old – when you start getting emails about funeral arrangements!

  2. pelerin

    You know you are old – when people stand up for you on the bus.

  3. nancyv

    You know you are old – when you see you have “aged” out of fasting and think “wait, I’m not THAT old”! Pfffff
    (nice cake)

  4. Paul Maliborski

    You know your old when you’re sitting on the crapper trying to remember how old you really are.

  5. Gina Nakagawa

    Happy birthday, Father. You had a very fine-looking Dad.
    You know you are old when you begin to reminisce about the time your 52-year-old daughter who grew up around her grandmother and great grandmother comes to you and says, “Mama, I’m not as young as I used to be.” She is three, and you agree with her. God bless and keep you always, Father.

  6. meshugunah

    You know you’re old when you realize you’re older than ZIP codes and digit dialing… I am longing to go to Heaven and be with Jesus, too!

  7. pelerin

    You know you are old – when your favourite newspaper has adverts for stair-lifts, walk-in baths, mobility scooters and hearing aids.

  8. Monica Harris

    You know you’re old when… keep realizing (aghast) that Paul McCartney wrote a song about your impending age when he was, like, fourteen.

  9. Frank G

    You know when you’re when a pimply faced teenager comes up to you in the local shopping center…”would you like a free hearing aid test sir?”

  10. Trudy

    You know you’re old when you read the obits in the paper instead of the birth announcements.

  11. pelerin

    You know you are old when you hesitate between choosing to take an afternoon walk or an afternoon snooze and you eventually decide on the latter.

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