Category Archives: Humor

Coronavirus: Provision of Sacraments. How to be joyful, at peace, in mayhem. Update!

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Apparently, the Diocese has forbidden the celebration of pretty much all the Sacraments except in the danger of death. Ha ha ha. I didn’t get that message until after the famous Monday, 30 March 2020, in my parish. Ha ha ha.

Late on Monday, there were four people in church:

  • Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament
  • Yours truly
  • A young couple

What did we do, you ask?

  • Baptism
  • Confirmation
  • Mass with First Holy Communion
  • Their natural marriage then was transformed to a Sacramental Matrimony

Elsewhere, also on Monday, same day, before sunrise, down in the hospital, I did up these Sacraments:

  • Confession
  • Last Rites: Anointing

And all that was putting Holy Orders of the Priesthood of Jesus Christ into action.

So, enacting my priesthood with the provision of six other Sacraments. Not bad in this time of Coronavirus if I do say so ever so snarkily myself. ;-)

Looky here: An order from the Diocese not to provide the sacraments except in danger of death would not be given unless people were nervous that we are in a time of generalized danger of death, right? I don’t think the intention is to make it difficult to go to Confession. That, I think, is an exception. And anyway, I did all this before that particular directive was given. And anyway, I’m sure no one is wanting at all to suspend me a divinis or to excommunicate me. I’m not in trouble. Far from it. That’s not how things work in this diocese. This is the best diocese ever. We have a great Bishop and a great Vicar General. I have a great Vicar Forane. I’m ever so happy.

Happy Its The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown GIF by Peanuts - Find ...

I mean, you know:

byers dance paul vi audience hall

Actually, what I’m looking for before the “peak” of Coronavirus hits with mayhem, is to have people come to the parking lot – staying in their spaced-away-from-each-other vehicles – to give them an instruction on General Absolution (the Third Rite permitted by the Church in emergency situations) upon permission of the Bishop. The conditions to receive that absolution with integrity and honesty, avoiding sacrilege, are as follows:

  • Done with the permission of the Bishop
  • The candidates must have contrition for ALL of their sins
  • The candidates must have the intention to amend their lives so as not to sin again
  • The candidates must have the intention to go to individual Sacramental Confession with a priest as soon as this is possible if they survive

At this time, anyone at anytime can come over to the rectory and bang on the door and I will don my PPE provided for my work with the PD and hear the Confession in the driveway. Yes. Easy peasy. All with joy. Be at peace. Perhaps dance for joy.

Humourous UPDATE!

That was sent in by a reader…

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Filed under Coronavirus, Free exercise of religion, Humor, Missionaries of Mercy

Coronavirus advice for criminals

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Filed under Coronavirus, Humor, Law enforcement

Coronavirus humor & Law Enforcement

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Sister is far too kind. When I was a kid, rulers had metal edges so as to permit super-straight lines, perfection and otherwise striving for excellence being the norm. Imagine that: the norm, what is expected, what is elicited, what is produced.

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Filed under Coronavirus, Humor, Law enforcement

Coronavirus humor gone malicious

The above humor? Great!

But then there’s the guy who was purposely coughing on food, then saying he’s tested positive for the Coronavirus (regardless of whether it’s true or not). That guy is up on terrorist charges and is set to go before a judge.

Meanwhile, two, say, 19-21 year old guys were in the supermarket the other day. I was going into the store just behind them and surmised (sorry for the profiling of behavior) that they were up to no good. About 15 minutes later I’m in the dairy section of the store trying to buy groceries for some of our elderly and health compromised parishioners. I was busy looking at the food prices, having stupidly let my situational awareness go down, and these guys walk up quietly behind me and loudly sneeze. When I turn to face them, they are laughing away. Hahaha. Very clever. I just looked at them, bored with such antics. It’s not easy to get me worked up over such stupidities. But we will see what happens with me in the next few days.

These are the kind of idiots, it seems to me, who will be carriers, and then spread the virus to, say, their vulnerable grandparents, who might get sick and die. Entitled narcissistic brats. That’s my “No” vote for that kind of non-humor.

Oh, and by the way… Yes, my sister had a Schnauzer like the one pictured above when I was a little, little kid. This was sent in by a reader who didn’t know that. Nice coincidence. I like that. Our Schnauzer was named Patsy. Good to see good humor.

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Filed under Coronavirus, Humor, Terrorism

Coronavirus humor and our weakness

coronavirus humor conversation with God

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Filed under Coronavirus, Humor

Hey! Coronavirus support ribbons…

Coronavirus solidarity support ribbon

And then there’s Mother Superior Cat…

cat

“Sister Felicity Immaculata, Mother Superior of the Order of Eternal Indifference, sends you blessings from quarantine.”

 

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*My Corona* rock rap video

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Coronavirus toilet humor

Sent in by a reader in Minneapolis…

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Coronavirus humor is for the dogs

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Filed under Dogs, Humor, Medicine

Coronavirus humor Edvard Munch’s Scream: Don’t panic! Don’t touch your face!

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As of this writing, the death rate for the Coronavirus in these USA is 4.71%. That’s 16 deaths into 339 reported cases. Obviously, that doesn’t include untested mild cases, but that’s also true for unreported mild influenza cases, right? Taking into account reported cases (how else?), the Coronavirus has a mortality rate that is hyperbolically higher than bad strains of influenza, a kind of never-before-scene-in-these-modern-times scenario.

Just the facts. Some will say that reporting on facts is scare mongering, and that we should do the same thing as was done around the first world war when huge percentages of the world population died, it is said, by absolutely playing down the facts. The thing is, people read through any playing down strategy and that bit of lying is what creates panic: Why the lying? I’m always all about just the plain truth. We can all deal with that. The best way to keep people calm and not to panic is to tell the truth. Then we know what we have before us. Then we use our brains to solve the problem. Not to tell the truth because of being in a panic and being all afraid of spreading panic is exactly the kind of fear which creates panic.

But panic is an emotion leading to herd looting herd home-invasion herd lawlessness mentality which ends up killing more than any virus ever could. Don’t panic. Just the facts. Deal with it.

Having said all that, the question is as to whether you’ve ever had the bottom drop out of your little world, and then what did you do about that? I had the bottom drop out of my world. Many times, actually. It’s a blessing. It rearranges priorities. It’s an occasion to turn to God, with humility. Great!

On one occasion, in my early twenties, I had a horrific case of Entamoeba histolytica dysintery that would have killed me off, with urine the color and consistency of black tar and the back-end being the color and consistency of yellow Gatorade, just clearer, more like water, and the eyes totally jaundiced as the little beasts were quickly eating my liver. At the time I was volunteering for the Missionaries of Charity at their home for the dying in Calcutta. How appropriate.

So, there I was, five minutes on the bed, and then twenty-five minutes in one of the two toilet stalls of the Salvation Army hostel where I was staying. The 5 min bed / 25 min toilet was locked into a 24/7 cycle. Talk about losing weight! Keto has nothing on Entamoeba histolytica. With dazed mind I read – and re-read a thousand times – all the graffiti on the back of the door and the walls of the sickly sweet smelling stall even while the little window allowed the smoke of the little manure fires cooking food on the street to waft inside. A peculiar mix of odors. A very clever poet traveler with similar digestive problems had written this:

  • “If you think the bottom has dropped out of your world, come to Calcutta, and you will think the world has dropped out of your bottom.”

Hahaha – sigh – Fine. I guess you would have had to have been there.

In these days of Novel Coronavirus CoVid-19 panic mongers, sometimes a little humor goes a long way toward teaching low-panic ways and means of dealing with any virus. One bit of advice came from some high level health official knucklehead testifying in the U.S. Congress the other day about avoidance-of-the-virus strategies. One of those strategies was NOT TO TOUCH YOUR FACE. Meanwhile, the nice lady who was screaming her testimony (so to speak) about the validity of this strategy was – in front of God and Congress and the whole world – continuously touching her face. Ah, the irony!

Here’s the deal: Maybe this bit of humor will help you put the basic strategies into effect in your daily life. It’s simple, but good. Most importantly for the not-to-panic theme: get your soul right with God. Be calm and want to go to heaven in any situation.

I might add that there was something even better than this humor, making it all very personal, having us identify with the personal feelings of another. I know: ♬ Feeelings… ♬ … Woah, woah, woah… ♬ Feeelings…♬ But I’ll say it anyway. POTUS Trump was talking about the NOT touching your face thing. He said that he’s been putting into action the NOT-touching-one’s-face thing and he misses touching his face. Missing touching my face was my reaction exactly. People otherwise do this unconsciously about 20 times an hour. It’s that personal anecdote which stops my hand to the face.

Meanwhile, a health care worker testing patients for coronavirus got coronavirus even though wearing a special respirator. It didn’t help her. Why? I’m guessing because she kept re-adjusting the mask, touching, of course, her face. Get it? It’s like a new concealed carrier of a pistol. He or she is always checking on it, making sure it’s there. Don’t do that either.


So, if I were to wear a mask while going to emergency scenes with our local PD, well, I couldn’t wear a mask. Why not? I have a beard. A priest friend of mine calls beards CVIs: Coronavirus Incubators. Hahaha. So again, I ask the question as the numbers continue to rise, including the numbers of quarantines around the country, do I scream as in The Scream above, or do I shave my beard (I would hate that, nicking and cutting my face and making entryways for Coronavirus received by touching my face…. grrrr…) and then scream as in The Scream above, or…

Here’s the deal, it’s not just a one-on-one situation in hospitals and nursing homes and at incident locations, it’s about large gatherings at churches and social halls, it’s about “public speaking” if you will, during the Mass and while preaching. I’m a priest. Can you do all that in a respirator? And why would I have a respirator while no one else has a respirator? I mean, picture it, a priest at the altar saying Holy Mass with a respirator on. It’s absurd. Again, what about everybody else?

It’s devolves into inconsistencies, just as does the administration of Holy Communion no matter if it’s in the hand or on the tongue: Do priests or EMHCs (though we are too small to have those in this parish) use hand sanitizer between every communicant? And if so, do they purify their fingers in the little water bowl thingy next to the tabernacle before they do that so as not to possibly desecrate the Blessed Sacrament with hand sanitizer? And is a new bowl used every time, that is, after every single communicant? And is that bowl washed down the sacrarium and then washed and sanitized in the sacrarium every time, for every communicant? No? You get the idea. Therefore: either you administer Holy Communion or you don’t. Right now, we do.

But, all the same, do NOT touch your face!

Please share this post. You might save a life. A little humor goes a long way.

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Chartreuse par les pères Chartreux: Moi? Connaisseur? Sacrebleu! Je ne suis pas!

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This post is categorized as humor because of the strange way that I reacted to the delivery of a package. Perhaps some veterans might guffaw at my silliness. I’m happy to provide the opportunity.

A very nice, polite, super-smiling man with a heavy accent from – best guess – Pakistan, not in a uniform, just in a personal car with no company markings, hand delivered a cardboard box which had no indication of provenance, no sender, nothing to indicate that it had gone through any kind of systematized delivery service. There were no stickers about any company delivering the package (such as one would expect from DHL, FedEx, UPS or the USPS). Just my name and address hand written on a piece of paper taped to the top of the box. He had banged on my front door not seeing the sign which politely requests that packages be left in the car port. Maybe he had to actually put it in my hands. After I went back to the rectory he stayed out in the street for a minute. My thought then was not a good one. Just a little suspicious, this package. You can call me bad and evil, but policies only work if you follow them every time. This is the scene from Zero Dark Thirty that came to mind.

That, of course, is quite a confession, and might tell you how I carry some things with me, deep down inside. It is what it is. Anyway, rebelling against myself, I made brave to open the package. It turned out to be from overseas. Even more mysterious as to how it could be delivered in such fashion.

But I then I recognized who the contents were from as there was a card and a letter and a donkey cartoon. It’s from an old friend. All good. Thanks. But still, the logistics of delivery…

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As soon as I saw the bottle I thought of the saying of the monks: Stat crux dum volvitur orbis. “The Cross stands steadfast while the world spins away.” I think I wrote something about that:

Solving Kryptos – Part 4 – Coriolis effect – Crux stat dum volvitur orbis

It’s only fair to offer a few notes for anyone who is tempted to send me alcohol:

  • I appreciate the thought. Really, I do. But don’t do it. Hard liquor and Keto diet don’t go together. It’s true that there are no carbs, but there are also no grams of protein or fat, just heaps of empty calories.
  • Hard liquor is deadly to me, as this destroys my throat. No, really. It’s risking suicide. Like Bill Binney said, “The first thing you have to know about me is that I would never intentionally commit suicide.” So, I’ll pass. Thanks, though.
  • Liquor is hard on the liver. I already put my liver through hell with medicine I’ve been taking for some 40 years when the absolute max is 5 months because of the way it wrecks havoc on the liver. So, liquor doesn’t work for me. No, really.
  • Also, I actually carry my carry. And because of that, all alcohol is off limits. Guns and hard liquor don’t go together. I’m at least as much of a tea-totaller as the local baptists. I’ve already heard that I preach like a Baptist minister, so, hey, why not?
  • So, I’m going to have to give this away. Sorry. But thank you for the thought.

Anyway, I’m looking at the bottle. What’s that hole under the label?

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Looking through the front of the bottle:

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When I saw that – given also the weird delivery circumstances – I thought I might just make a call to the guy in charge of Chartreuse at the distributors in New York. He wanted the pictures, so I sent them to him. He had never seen anything like it. He’s going to contact les pères Chartreux just for fun, to see if they have a new manufacturing process. I looked up the use of tracking chips which prove provenance to reduce fraud for the customer who can use an app to see if the bottle is legit. That’s quite common for more expensive bottles, but all those chips are part of the exterior label, a wax seal, or are inside the cork. I scraped off the back label against my better judgment. I’m guessing that it’s just a manufacturing oddity. Anyway, I won’t be drinking it, but not because of… whatever…

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New York Bail Reform: Violent Crime? You walk! Analogy with VIRTUS®

In New York, you can get away with anything for free and skip your court date and still get away without a bond to escape again. So, that invites violent crime, and of course the first ones perps will try this out on are cops. This post is categorized and tagged also as humor because Mike the Cop in the video is so very angry – rightly so – that he can only keep it together by inserting a bit of chancy humor.

FoxNews NEW YORK — Two New York City police officers narrowly escaped with their lives when a gunman fired into their patrol van Saturday night, wounding one of them in an attack officials called an attempted assassination. The ambush, which Police Commissioner Dermot Shea said “should outrage all New Yorkers,” happened just before 8:30 pm in the South Bronx. The officer at the wheel of the van was grazed in the chin and neck, but he avoided serious injury, Shea said. He was expected to released from the hospital Sunday. “He is lucky to be alive,” Shea said. “He is expected to make a full recovery and it is a miracle.” Shea recalled other unprovoked assaults on police officers sitting in their patrol vehicles.

Mayor Bill de Blasio, a Democrat, condemned the latest attack at a news briefing outside the Bronx hospital where the wounded officer was being treated. “There’s too much hatred in general, there’s too much hatred being directed at our officers, and it has to end,” the mayor said. “We have to move forward in a situation like this and find a way to create a peaceful society, not one where those who protect us are in danger in this way.” [And the way to do that is to have no bond for violent crimes?]

The two uniformed officers, partners for eight years and friends since middle school, were sitting in their van with emergency lights activated when a man approached them and engaged them in conversation, Shea said. The man asked the officers for directions, then pulled out a gun “without provocation,” the commissioner said. The man fired multiple shots, striking the officer behind the wheel. Shea said the officer’s carotid artery narrowly avoided injury. Neither officer returned fire. The officer’s partner drove him to a hospital nearby. Shea called both officers “heroic” for their composure and said their long association made for “an amazing story.”

Officers had a basic description of the gunman, who fled after the shooting, but his identity was unknown. Security video that appeared to capture the shooting shows the van driving quickly away as a man appeared to point something at the fleeing vehicle. The officers had been stationed in the neighborhood because of recent drug activity and violence, Shea said. The president of the police union, Pat Lynch, said the department will use “all its resources” to bring the shooter to justice. [He means to bring the shooter to no bail and walk and skip town to come back later and do the same thing. You can bring a perp to justice, but New York justice actually promotes violent crimes and crimes of turpitude.]


My own comment on something analogously stupid:

When I sat through the VIRTUS® Child Protection training there were guidelines presented about possibly suspect people, so that if one noticed TWO things in a list of suspicious behaviors, then one was to bring this up the ladder. The problem was that one of the things was showing porn to minors. So, if you haven’t by chance noticed one more suspect behavior, then you are to just let it go. It’s not suspect behavior at all. All good. VIRTUS® is the education arm of The National Catholic Risk Retention Group. They should all be thrown in prison, with no bail before any court date either.

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Filed under Humor, Law enforcement, Officer Down!, VIRTUS(R)

Keto Day 82 – Imaginative recipes

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The ice cube soup picture was sent in by a reader making fun of Keto, all for encouragement, mind you. Day 81 was finished by having lost 44.6 pounds. That’s more than 1/2 pound a day, if you’re counting. Still feeling much, much better and full of energy and not hungry and able to exercise and lots of other health and psychological benefits. I’m NOT saying I’ll be on this diet much longer. Just until I reach my goal, which is to be in the upper range of “healthy” on the BMI scale.

BTW, I think ice cube soup is what pilgrims get to “eat” while doing a penitential pilgrimage to Saint Patrick’s Purgatory on Station Island in Lough Derg, County Donegal, Ireland. I think the cooks also throw in a very granules of black pepper for taste. The pilgrimage tradition goes all the way back to the fifth century, when Patrick was there.

Mind you, it’s not the ice cube soup that is in any way Keto. Whilst the pilgrims at Lough Derg relish their ice cube soup after having walked the rock in the ice cold water, they smell the aroma of bacon wafting along from the windows of the warm kitchen of the priests house. “Bacon.” That’s Keto! ;-)

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On becoming an old geezer. I like it.

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It’s important to keep a sense of humor.

This was seen at a Communion Call the other day. The old geezer guy there, down at Shootin’ Creek (a real place in these most remote of back ridges of the Appalachians), has stage four cancer. His wife is so helpful and loving to him. Neither are senile.

I love being a priest, taking Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament through His beautiful creation to His Little Flock. It’s so very easy to see Jesus in His Little Flock.

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Things that make me laugh, or not. Better than all levity is this…

Yep. Sorry. I guess I’m uncharitable. I laughed out loud when I heard the pencil neck comment. It was the intonation. And then it got worse, or… better. Hahaha. Sorry. Having said all that:

solemn intercession good friday secular rulers

Meanwhile, there are those who send me bits and pieces from SNL. I’ve never in my life ever found anything on SNL funny, just terribly sad. They all seem depressed, desperate, lost, expert in all that which is truly evil and bad and therefore deathly boring. That has always been my opinion, since it came on the air until now.

Meanwhile, anyone plying any sexual innuendo trying to be comical I also surmise to be depressed, desperate, lost, expert in all that which is truly evil and bad and therefore deathly boring.

It’s not that I’m virtuous, mind you. No. Not at all. But, as a priest, I do come across situations which are truly evil – straight out of hell – and those almost always involve abuse of the sex, and abuse of others, including minors by way of sex. I see the destruction of lives. Not good. Really evil.

More than that, personally, I’ve already written about how I was unwittingly made into the kiddie-porn star when I was a little kid. So, no, I don’t find that kind of thing humorous. Even if people are way the other way, so that they are so jaded by the horror of the aggression of the world in these matters that they make a joke so as to be sarcastic with the stupid ways of the world, still, even then, it is better to concentrate on the things that are above, not on those below.

  • It is better to hidden with Christ in God (see Colossians 3:3).
  • It is better to be built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit (see Ephesians 2:22)

What is better than all mere levity is true humor, which necessitates a sense of irony before the Sacred Mysteries: God would use the likes of us specifically in our fallen human nature to evangelize His goodness and His truth, His kindness and His truth, His respect for others and His truth. Did I say truth? Did I mention how it’s ironic to us because of our fallen human nature that we find it odd that justice and mercy are but one in God? When we get a hold of this even just a little bit in our lives it is an occasion for great joy in the Holy Spirit. This joy is seen in this great smile of Hilaire Belloc:

hilaire belloc

“But this IS my smile.”

The humor that he’s smiling about so enthusiastically is this bit he wrote about irony, specifically Christian Irony. When you read this – as some of you have done many times – remember to keep Jesus and Him crucified front and center, or else you won’t understand in the least what Hilaire is saying.

  • “To the young, the pure, and the ingenuous, irony must always appear to have a quality of something evil, and so it has, for […] it is a sword to wound. It is so directly the product or reflex of evil that, though it can never be used – nay, can hardly exist – save in the chastisement of evil, yet irony always carries with it some reflections of the bad spirit against which it was directed. […] It suggests most powerfully the evil against which it is directed, and those innocent of evil shun so terrible an instrument. […] The mere truth is vivid with ironical power […] when the mere utterance of a plain truth labouriously concealed by hypocrisy, denied by contemporary falsehood, and forgotten in the moral lethargy of the populace, takes upon itself an ironical quality more powerful than any elaboration of special ironies could have taken in the past. […] No man possessed of irony and using it has lived happily; nor has any man possessing it and using it died without having done great good to his fellows and secured a singular advantage to his own soul.” [Hilaire Belloc, “On Irony” (pages 124-127; Penguin books 1325. Selected Essays (2/6), edited by J.B. Morton; Harmondsworth – Baltimore – Mitcham 1958).]

[Deadpan statement:] So, you might say, Hilaire Belloc is hilarious.

[Then: wait for it…]

Image result for gifs three men laughing

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Filed under Humor, Irony, Politics

Dogs is better’n cats: Change my mind. Most playful attack dogs in the world.

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Yes, Shadow-dog does get hosed off. He likes that as much as getting muddy. He likes to bait Laudie-dog into playing, and she shows him who’s really boss, boxing his ears with both front paws at the same time, though not baring her ferocious fangs for a second. They really are best friends. She’s just cleaner, and wants to stay that way.

In an effort to change out mud holes, I restricted Shadow dog to being closer in to the house, as there is still an old fence to use. But his hopping from side to side in front of that fence when making his usual commentary on passing events has made for some embankments. As I kid, when I did that for downhill skiing up in the North Woods: moguls. I got good at it, enough to get little impromptu audiences. But maybe they were just waiting for the crazy-insane-kid to be out of the way.

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It’s hard to tell from the picture, but the turning mogul on the right is dug down and built up from the hopping turns so that from bottom to top is about 1 1/2 feet high. That only took one day of unintentional mogul building. I’m impressed. Shadow gets his exercise all day every day.

The anomalous all-black GSDs have a slightly different genetic structure, closer, I would guess, to wolfdom. They have what some call a straight back instead of the back sloping down from shoulders to tail. But Shadow-dog’s back actually is higher. The speed factor is amazing.

He can go from the not-lying-down-but-actually-crouching-attack-position – closely eyeing a potential enemy who needs to be vetted out – to full speed racing as a test-attack to see the reaction of the would-be enemy, the ol’ going straight from zero to a hundred thing in bare nanoseconds. I like that. A lot. Even if the enemy is a squirrel, a cat, the neighbor’s therapy pony or the next-door neighbor’s dog. Sometimes, though, it’s a possibly nefarious human who instantly understands the instruction not to come over the fence to do up a home invasion. To see the speed, I only need to open the side gate to let him go in the bigger back yard.

Laudie-dog is much calmer. But she knows that she doesn’t need to prove herself to me. She’s already saved me so very many times from monsters: bears and lynx and coyotes and snakes and red wolves and now grey wolves, and even a panther. That last one was a fright.

  • Dogs are the best. Cats are… cats…
  • Dogs are man’s best friend. Cats are… cats…
  • Dogs protect you and yours. Cats… watch the worst go down…
  • Dogs are eager to learn. Cats think they know it all…
  • Dogs watch birds. Cat’s eat the birds for whom you put out bird-seed…

I mean, if you can add to the list, or defend cats (which I would be interested in seeing), drop a comment. Let me put it this way, although dogs and cats are equally God’s good creatures, my fallen human nature says:

Dogs are better than cats. Change my mind.

There were both dogs and cats around the house when I was a kid. I have dogs now, but no cats. Am I therefore wrong to even voice an opinion? Do I need to get a cat to be able to legitimately express my inner creation commentary?

If I were to get a cat, it would have to be black (to match priest-clothes), have short hair, not shed, be content with dry cat food, not scratch-attack, purr really really really a lot, and loudly, get along with both Shadow-dog and Laudie-dog without scratching their eyes out, and otherwise not be “catty”… or is that something cats absolutely have to be?

Finally, I know, I know: there are anomalies…

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Filed under Dogs, Humor

Three Wise Men sneak to the crib as murderous Herod hunts for the Child

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2020-01-04 · 3:08 pm

Better’n BleachBit: I just shoot stuff.

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When you shoot a hard drive in actually only takes one bullet to put it to death. The disk is literally turned into the finest metallic powder that wafts up in a cloud from the remains of the hard drive casing, all in sparkling micro-particulates floating in the air reflecting any sunshine in 10,000 various colors. :-) The hard drives above belong to a number of people who trust that I can take care of data protection for them, as it were, so to speak. I think I have too much fun. Liberals like Hillary have no fun at all.

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Filed under Guns, Humor

Three Wise Men… Are You Serious? Humor.

I received a proclamation of “Touché” from the reader who sent in the previous Smart Alec dish towel for the answer I gave in response. Here:

But that admission was just to set me off guard and give me a false sense of confidence, as I was then immediately countered by… this other dish towel above.

There is also an entirely good explanation for the flabbergastery bluster going on here. This has nothing to do with any assertion that you could never find anywhere in the entire world a wise man, much less three of them, and at the same time and place. No.

This is all about there being only three wise men of all the uncountable wise men in all the world who showed up. Only three?!!!? Yes, but there is also an explanation for that. All the other wise men are busy trying to teach all the women folk how to be wise…

[[ I can see that this is not going anywhere good anywhere fast… How do I get out of this?… I haven’t been very wise… ]]

 

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Filed under Christmas, Humor

Two donkeys at the door

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I was at the door of a parishioner’s house last evening, and was very taken by this Christmas scene that had been tacked up there. So joyful. So peaceful. I note that all the animals, including the donkey, have their ears back, listening for any danger that might disturb their Almighty Creator so humbly come among us. The donkey is a professional at this. All donkeys are Guard-Donkeys. Oh, by the way, I was the donkey at the door. If you look closely, you’ll see that there are two donkeys pictured in the picture.

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Filed under Christmas, Donkeys, Humor