Category Archives: Humor

Tiny bit of artistic humor to lighten it up: Monet, Degas, Van Gogh, Jesus and the Angels

Putting the pedal to the metal, the price of gas here in these USA is racing to be as expensive as the price of gas in France. Here’s a meme that’s been making the rounds sent in from “Tiny”…

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, Monsieur, the reason I stole the paintings is because…

I had no Monet…

to buy Degas…

to make the Van Gogh.

I had De Gualle to do it and…

I had nothing Toulouse.


I recall standing outside the Art Gallery of New South Wales, Australia, which boasts of artists’ names engraved along the tops of the façades of the buildings, such as, “RAPHAEL, MICHAEL ANGELO, BELLINI, TITIAN.” Yes. You read that correctly.

Full disclaimer: The only reason this is at all funny to me is because I recognize myself as being not only the most un-well-read of clergy ever to have been ordained, but also the most uncultured. That’s not to fault my most cultured teachers in this small world of ours who think to have seen potential in me and went way out of their way to show this north-woods-boy the museums of the world, not the obvious ones, but small, out of the way, holding world class treasures that were on “Tours”. Fascinating how styles of art reflect the meanderings of philosophy and theology and economics and psychology and whatever of any age and culture.

There’s humor, and then there’s irony, and both together. Chesterton and Belloc have it that you can’t be Christian without a sense of irony, ironic humor or humorous irony, such as justice and mercy kissing upon the Cross of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you get this, because you stand with the Living Truth, you are filled to overflowing with joy in seeing life through death and the power of a soul that magnifies the Lord:

Divine and angelic artists are the best.

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Pumping Humor

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Vatican Bank’s new excuse for their ongoing embezzlement (imnsho): “Russia”. Humorous if it didn’t make you cry.

That’s a screen shot of the opening email screen above. Below is the (slightly edited) text:

Città del Vaticano
08 aprile 2022

Avviso sulla Sicurezza Informatica.

Caro Cliente,

gli effetti della mutata situazione geopolitica e del conflitto in corso tra Russia e Ucraina hanno costretto
tutti gli operatori e i cittadini a considerare con maggiore attenzione la questione della sicurezza digitale
e ad alzare il livello di guardia verso le possibili intrusioni nei sistemi informatici.

Si tratta di un fenomeno che aveva già registrato un notevole incremento negli ultimi tempi e che è
cresciuto ulteriormente in conseguenza dei nuovi scenari generati dal conflitto, tanto in ambito
finanziario quanto in altri settori che interessano la nostra vita quotidiana (commercio, viabilità, salute,
istruzione…).

Anche per tale ragione l’Istituto per le Opere di Religione, che già opera con standard e livelli di sicurezza
digitale molto elevati, ha rafforzato i propri presidi informatici di difesa.

In questo contesto e per la sua tutela, le rinnoviamo l’invito a non rispondere ad eventuali richieste di
informazioni in merito ai suoi dati personali o ai suoi servizi finanziari.

Come lei ben sa, non è prassi del personale del nostro Istituto richiede telefonicamente o via email
l’invio di dati sensibili o di codici.

Qualora avesse anche solo il sospetto di una possibile intrusione nei suoi profili digitali non esiti a
contattarci

Indirizzo email: [/////]

Indirizzo di posta: [/////]

per verificare ed eventualmente reagire prontamente per proteggere il suo patrimonio.

La barriera di difesa dei suoi dati si completa solo attraverso una collaborazione costante tra lei e il
nostro staff, a cui la invitiamo a segnalare ogni eventuale tentativo sospetto di appropriazione dei suoi
riferimenti sensibili.

Grazie in anticipo per la collaborazione.

Restiamo a sua completa disposizione e non esiti a contattarci per ogni eventuale chiarimento o
segnalazione su quanto sopra esposto.


Google translate for your convenience:

Information Security Notice.

Dear Customer,

the effects of the changed geopolitical situation and the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine have forced all operators and citizens to consider the issue of digital security with greater attention
and to raise the level of guard against possible intrusions into computer systems.

This is a phenomenon which had already registered a significant increase in recent times and which has
grown further as a result of the new scenarios generated by the conflict, both in the financial sector and in other sectors that affect our daily life (commerce, roads, health, education…).

For this reason too, the Institute for Works of Religion [IOR], which already operates with very high standards and levels of digital security, has strengthened its IT defense systems.

In this context and for your protection, we renew the invitation not to respond to any requests for
information regarding your personal data or financial services.

As you well know, it is not the practice of the staff of our Institute to request the sending of sensitive data or codes by phone or email.

If you have even the suspicion of a possible intrusion into your digital profiles, do not hesitate to contact us Email address: [/////]
Mail address: [/////]
to verify and possibly react promptly to protect your assets.

The barrier of defense of your data is completed only through a constant collaboration between you and our staff, to which we invite you to report any suspected attempt of appropriation of your sensitive references.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

We remain at your complete disposal and do not hesitate to contact us for any clarification or report on the above.


That would be right. The old double reverse:

  • “We’re the government, and we’re here to help you. There are electronic phishing schemes from which we want to protect you, so, just please electronically send us all your personal details and codes and it’ll all be good, because we never otherwise electronically ask for your personal details and codes as we have throughout the years, you know, because we’re nice!”

This is all CYA in my opinion. This is blaming the victim in my opinion. If what is said is true, then they’ve been hacked and run by “Russia! Russia! Russia!” (as Tucker would say) for very many years indeed, long before Pope Benedict XVI abdicated, really a long time before Putin seriously thought about invading Ukraine.

The IOR (Vatican Bank) have been asking me – electronically – for my personal details and codes and such for all those years. Way back in the day I asked for confirmation from a friend in the Holy See as to the legitimacy of this request. He went to the IOR, “Vatican Bank”, for me to do just this. All legit, he reported. That was years and years ago. Since I still didn’t trust this reporting (sorry), I called the IOR a number of times and had extended conversations with any number of high-up officials. It was all legit, all the accusations of money laundering and the financing of international terrorism to as to force the electronic sending of personal details and codes, you know, to avoid the confiscation of account by IOR. A number of times more recently IOR tried this B.S. again and again. And then, hilariously, the IAS (IFRS) hinted to me about their oversight of the shenanigans of the IOR. Don’t forget, there’s a trial that’s ongoing about weirdnesses regarding hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars that involves the IOR. Who can the Vatican blame when monies of accounts disappear? Putin! Pfft.

I’ve given up on recovering my two accounts at the IOR long ago. I figure that they’re likely stealing as much money as possible and squirreling it all away before all their B.S. hits the fan.

But maybe I’m wrong about all this. Maybe they’re just not thinking clearly. Maybe I’m not. But none of this adds up: “Send us all your details and codes electronically because we forbid you to enter into Vatican City because of Covid. We’ve asked you to do this electronically for years and years and years, which is why we say that we never ask for that information electronically! And we are continuing to accuse you of money laundering and the financing of international terrorism as we always have so as to force you to cooperate in our embezzling of your accounts. So, there! Take that dear client.”

That actually sounds like a confession to me.

Oh. I forgot. IOR already has all my personal details and codes. So, they don’t need to do this double-reverse phishing. That’s a clever phishing scheme indeed. “We already have all your details and codes so send us your details and codes electronically now so that we can protect you from recent phishing schemes to get your details and codes electronically.”

Yep.

And it’s all done though the domains of Vatican City State “Holy See.” Let’s see…

Hey! Maybe this is a low-level employee at IOR who has no access to the data bases other than email addresses of clients, you know, to send out Christmas and Easter greetings, and he’s phishing for the rest. With some help of the Vatican postal service, it’s all easy peasy. You only need to cash in on a few “dead” accounts, and then run.

Putin is just a scapegoat.

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Father Robert Altier on the cleansing of temple by Mary

I laughed out loud when he described the difference between Jesus and Mary when it comes to the unrelenting ferocious cleansing of the temple. Hahahahaha. :-) Good for you, Father Altier. I love it.

This is a repost, just because…

  • Because he has the most succinct, clearest, direct, ferocious, charitable summaries of the abuse crisis to date. Really, really good. You’ll think for a moment that this is slightly dated now, but then it will hit you that, no, there’s a large number of the hierarchy from priests right to the top who still fit this description most precisely.
  • Because he’s right, of course, about dearest Immaculate Mary. Hahahahahahahaha.

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Reagan tells Soviet jokes

All cute, right? I think people don’t understand what he’s doing here. We might just chuckle, think it’s a bit of comedy, breaking the ice of the cold-war, clever statesmanship with basic humanity. But there’s more than this.

The top Russian leadership is actually Communist. These are not atheists we are dealing with here, but rather those who actively hate God, hate neighbor, hate themselves, and simply want to gain more narcissistic power that is cut off from justice, cut off from service, cut off from showing any mercy. It’s raw power, which is entirely constituted by hate, and is diabolical. That’s Fulton Sheen’s take: it’s hatred.

What Reagan was doing here is to be so entirely cute that there was no response that could be made, but he was humiliating them to the core of their rotten souls, their blackened hearts. Good. That’s the way to do it, to make them question whatever in hell it is that they are doing. That’s what Jesus did with the haters of His day.

Today, Biden wants the Green New Deal, the Great Reset: less people, more green, the “power” of murdering helpless people. The thing is, American youth have been trained in to think that this kind of cowardly entitlement to murder is virtuous.

Biden looks “tough”, like a war-time president, that will gain him votes, I guess. It always does. Putin is giving him this opportunity. For Biden’s minions to do better in the mid-terms is better for Putin than to for Russia to gain Ukraine once again. Then, after that happens, the next day after Super-Tuesday, Putin will just take Ukraine. That was my surmising the second this intention of Putin was announced quite a while back. Things change daily, but it pretty much answers the most questions, most consistently, the most simply, you know, why it’s so messy. It’s maybe the way this started, but who knows how it will finish. War is hell. Hell is hell.

Meanwhile, Confession. Meanwhile, the Rosary. And it’s good to laugh along with Regan. Just know there’s a deadly serious side to it.

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Update: I want an infallible statement that I’m infallible to go along with The Blah Blah Synod™. Some tautologous humor.

UPDATE: Unbelievably, I’ve yet again been contacted. It seems almost daily now. But my answer will remain this post (as I like the tautologous humor herein). ///

I didn’t think it was possible, but the pressure to participate in The Blah Blah Synod™ has increased exponentially, but ever so nicely. Nice.

The foundational premise for the entire Synod on Synodality was spelled out in the first document which showcased Pope Francis’ theology about the Church as dialogue, synodal dialogue, in which everyone is infallible in their believing, without which theology no such Francis-esque Synod on Synodality would be able to proceed.

Since all this is entirely novel – actually heretical, diametrically opposed to the foundation of the Church on the singular person of the Apostle Peter by the Son of the Living God – I’m left rather unaffected. Who’s to say I’m infallible? Pope Francis? With a non-ex-cathedra assertion?

I don’t mean to be tautologous here, but since I’m so very much encouraged by everyone to follow the vision of Pope Francis that I’ll just play along here and say that I agree that I’m infallible.

And so I am infallible.

Now that I’m infallible, I declare and pronounce infallibly that I’m not infallible and therefore ineligible to participate in the Synod on Synodality, you know, because only infallible people are welcome.

Now can I please just get back to being a priest providing the Sacraments. That would be of benefit for the cura animarum, the salvation of souls. That’s what we’re supposed to be busy about doing. And that’s infallible.

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C’mon, DISA! Tiny humor can’t be forbidden. Help needed.

A military intel officer of some 28 years, in field ops, but who also did up some work at DISA at Fort Meade across from the NSA, called me up from across the country the other day to ask what the deal was with my not answering his personal emails to me. I told him that I used to get his humor-meme emails all the time, but then they quit. And no recent personal emails at all.

Typical of the lifetime military intel field officers that I know, this guy is forever re-forwarding humor-memes in group emails. It’s humor therapy. Like any Geico commercial has it: If you’re a life-time field officer, having seen way too much for your lifetime, it’s what you do. Humor is a balm for the soul. Ask any VA volunteer with enough clearance to talk to these guys and they’ll tell you the same thing. Humor is essential. But the humor stopped coming my way, many months ago. Uh-oh.

I asked our intel hero if, after he had set up his group email, he had ever gone back in to the group email-setup to edit any of the addresses. Never, he said, not ever. While we talked I had him check my address. Someone had hacked into his email, went to that group list, changed just my address to something he wouldn’t question, but really quite different, both for the group list and for the general address list. In other words, our humorless hacker guy has been getting emails that were supposed to be sent to me, both memes and personal, from our hero intel officer for a long time. I didn’t even know these communications existed.

Hacking into other people’s emails – those associated with me – and redirecting them to an email address that looks like mine but is not? I’ve had plenty of stalkers in my life, but this is the next level of creepy. Of course, that guy can start playing me as well, answering real people as if he were me. CREEPY.

I’ve been dealing with stuff like this all my life because of what CCS at DoS in conjunction with DSCC in Rosslyn did to me a lifetime ago in favor of one of their field operatives who looks like me and who’s the same age as me, who has the same travels and languages as me. It was nothing against me personally (it never is), but it was just convenient for them at the time.

But this is not them. It’s all entirely different. And it crosses the line. This involves real people in my parish, national heroes, messing with them, gaslighting them, also stalking them because of me. That’s not cool.

So, here’s my request to DISA, NSA, CIA, FBI, DoS, DoJ, DEA and anyone who has ever been involved with me, hunt down this freak-boy hacker-stalker-guy and shut him down in favor of my 28 year military intel friend. Just a favor, tiny as it is. Thanks. It’s just tiny, you know, tiny, as in, like, tiny. Get it? Tiny?

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Not sorry if that sheep-covid-mask triggers you dear (arch)bishops wolves! Humor!

The analogy between the store clerk and our (arch)bishops who politically push the whole Democrat Covid narrative down the throats of Jesus Little Flock is hard to miss. They are just out to sell you a narrative to claim being heroes, but then try to hide behind the State, and fail.

Here’s the deal: The Lion of the Tribe of Judah, Christ Jesus, will come to judge the living and the dead and world by fire. Jesus, though scarred for sure, will nevertheless be the last one standing. And then us with Him: “You are the ones who have always stood by me in my trials” (Luke 22:28).

And do you know what? This will be IS cause for great joy in the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Jesus.

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I’m soooo afraid of the dubious Dubia! Not. Breaking the “It’s not up-to-date” clock.

You have heard that it was said that a “Freudian slip” appears in the closing sentence of the recent incredibly cruel and petty truly hateful dubious Dubia published the other day. However, that would be out of character for such profoundly cultured giants in the history of entitled will-to-power. I think this is simply more mocking of Christ’s Little Flock:

  • “From the offices of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, 4 December 2021, on the 58th anniversary of the promulgation of the Constitution on the Scared Liturgy Sacrosanctum Concilium. — ✠ Arthur Roche – Prefect

Bunch of self-absorbed Promethean Pelagian trolls, are they not? The thing is, the CDW otherwise consistently insists on mocking that Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy of the Second Vatican Council, shrieking that any citation of it (retain Latin, retain chant, retain ad orientem…) is anachronistic, invalid, as it is only the weirdnesses subsequent to the Council until today (Clowns, Pachamama usurpation of Jesus’ Altar, no blessings in the Book of Blessings, etc.) that can legitimately be desired by the faithful. Yes, little Arthur says: “The very Liturgy is scared of us! We’re in power! Feel our power!”

Meanwhile, the Lex orandi, the Law of Prayer, which is precisely the very Sacrifice of Jesus at the Last Supper united with Calvary – My Body betrayed for you in Sacrifice, my Blood poured out for you in Sacrifice – is defined in that manner, note well, by the accompanying letter to Traditionis custodes, with its citation of Pope Benedict to that effect. That Lex orandi is rejected for the Ancient Rite, and therefore for all rites, including the Novus Ordo. That the Ancient Rite is not any kind of expression at all of the Latin Rite is as much to say that the Ancient Rite is not at all any kind of expression of the Sacrifice of Jesus at the Last Supper united with Calvary. That’s rank heresy, blasphemy.

+Roche is saying that it is Jesus Himself who should be scared, since it is God Himself, the Word Incarnate, laying down His life for us, the Innocent for the guilty, who is being rejected, forbidden, marginalized beyond any peripheries, all by way of the power of +Roach and Pope Francis. Well, Jesus is not scared. He stays on the Cross:

I’ll tell you who should be scared. It should be +Roche and Pope Francis who should be scared to go before the judgment and meet up with the Immaculate Conception holding Jesus. This will be the judgment, will it not? Looking into her eyes?

Meanwhile, Jesus and His Sacrifice are never not-up-to-date, never out-of-date, are never needing to get-with-the-times. Jesus said that when He is lifted up on the Cross, He will draw all to Himself of all times and places, men of every nation, tribe, people, race, language, whatever. Jesus melts the clocks. He draws all into that one hour of our redemption, please God also of our salvation. With Jesus, ever Ancient, ever New, we are always up-to-date, in the time and place where Divine Providence has placed us, that is, always next to dearest Immaculate Mary always next to Jesus under the Cross.

To sum up: In the same way that that Jesus’ Sacrifice, which happened so long ago, is dismissed as irrelevant to the life of the parish, as they say, this is the same way that original sin is dismissed as having any relevance to us today, and is the same way that the importance of the purposed murder of babies ripped from the womb to get their living organs for research, development and testing of “vaccines” for the bottom line of Big Pharma is irrelevant to any moral decision making. Making original sin and redemption and any sin irrelevant because time has gone by is demonic.

Dearest Jesus, thank you for making time as your creation which you hold in your hands. Thank you for bringing us together across time. Thank you for drawing us to yourself, melting those clocks. Thank you for making the likes of +Roche and Pope Francis scared of you, so that they might have the opportunity to be converted to you by your grace. Let them put their fingers into the nail-prints, let them put their hands into your side, your Heart. Let them discover that you are not irrelevant in your Sacrifice, dear Jesus. Let them say, “My Lord and my God,” and believe it by way of your timeless grace. And thank you, Jesus, for making us fearless, you who have insisted so many times: “Do not fear!” “Be not afraid!” And I’m not afraid, we’re not afraid, dear Jesus, thanks to you. Your Little Flock takes consolation that you will come to judge the living and the dead and the world by fire. Amen.

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CDW’s head-on collision with TLM: Humor

The henchmen of Pope Francis, all really very nice people, incredibly nice – so nice that it’s overwhelming: nice nice nice nice nice!!! – these henchmen claim that they own The Bridge, Christ Jesus, The Bridge between heaven and earth, and claim that they own The Pontifex, Christ Jesus, The Bridge Builder, who rightly called Himself The Way, and even claim that the Sacrifice of the Mass, the Last Supper united with Calvary, is not an expression whatsoever of the Roman Rite [absolutely a statement of its invalidity in their eyes]… these henchmen of Pope Francis feel entitled with all their claims to drive all over the Way they claim they own, feel entitled not to pay attention to anyone on The Bridge, feel entitled to smash into anyone in their way, feel entitled to FEEL THE POWER, these henchmen of Pope Francis, I say, are, instead, similar to the gnat-like idiot-car in the video above coming up against a real vehicle, you know, the TLM. Guess who wins in the end? See the video above. Rather humorous, really.

Anyway, here’s the deal: I’m a priest and I’m actually extremely busy doing priest-stuff, providing people the sacraments and the benefit of the sacramentals. I had an exhaustive day yesterday (18 December, 2021) sprinting about in multiple counties, getting groceries for the elderly, multiple sessions of Confessions, Holy Mass, lots of sacramental work altogether. I dropped after getting home from the church late at night…

So, I’m so very sorry. I apologize. I didn’t get a chance to begin to start to study any official statements from the CDW or any chance after that would-be study to begin to start to consider any official statements from the CDW. But I did play some YouTube commentaries about the CDW aggression over the blue-tooth speakers of Sassy the Subaru while I raced about all over WNC. My listening was often cut because of being out of WiFi range in the back ridges of these Blue Ridge, Smoky Mountains. So, what the CDW did, whatever that is, is all a rumor to me right now.

If there is any truth to the commentary, what the CDW has done is to make for a head-on collision with the letter I received from my bishop just yesterday. He sent it before the CDW statement was unleashed to the world over the internet. My bishop’s letter was annulled by the CDW even before he sent it. Obviously, the bishops were not consulted by the CDW.

If there is any truth to the commentary, I have plenty of questions, particularly about the CDW annulling the universal law of the Church (Canon Law), stomping on the rights of priests regarding the Holy Sacrifice, that is, without this smackdown being approved in forma specifica by the Holy Father. I have heard of plenty of cases over many decades in the past where this lack of specific approval to individual points annulled the legal force of whatever idiotic decree, especially draconian life-long penalties. I’m no Canon lawyer, but something seems rotten somewhere. We need some honest Canon lawyer. And I don’t just mean a traddy. Too many “traditionalists” are mere panderers. We’ve seen that recently. Way too many. They go on something like this: “Yes, well, it’s not approved quite exactly correctly but we don’t want to talk about that because we want to be nice and maybe they’ll be nice to us in return so I won’t really give you honest legal commentary but hide the truth from ye all, you know, to be nice.” I don’t want that. This is too important. Just the facts. True men of Tradition are NOT afraid to speak the facts. True men of Tradition don’t play politics with the Sacrifice of the Mass. I think Taylor Marshall’s term for this is fake-traddies playing “patty-cake” with the enemies of the Church. Brutal, but true.

Also, if the commentary has any truth to it, what was done seems maliciously set on purposely causing a situation that can be called “odious.” That’s a technical term, actually. If some bit of disciplinary legislation even from the supreme legislator (the Pope) is odious to the faithful (and I will ask the faithful over the next couple of weeks), then the bishop has full rights to exercise Canon 87 in favor of the salvation of souls. But the bishops have to be up to the task for the sake of the salvation of souls. That’s what the Church is supposed to be all about, right? The. Salvation. Of. Souls. In the video above, what this would mean is that our friend in the truck would just push the idiot-car right off The Bridge altogether and keep moving. Canon 87. But, of course, it is already threatened that there will another idiot-car, and another, annoying, but perhaps effective when there are dozens of idiot-cars, thousands, millions… But…

But… No. That’s when the truck revs up a bit. I’m sure you understand the analogy. Christ Jesus and His Sacrifice will not be killed off a second time. Jesus, once risen from the dead, will never die again.

I think I have too much fun. It’s just that I already know that Christ Jesus, Divine Son of the Immaculate Conception, Divine Son of our dearest, dearest Mother, has conquered. And He will come to judge the living and the dead and the world by fire, judge those who are occupied with the cura animarum, who are tasked with the salvation of souls, who are tasked with not insulting the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Today, I will have no time to read anything from the CDW. I’m literally sprinting from now until nightfall with actual priestly things to do: Adoration, Confessions, Masses, Communion Calls, Last Rites, over multiple counties, in multiple churches, in people’s homes, in nursing homes…

Also, I refuse to have my joy in Christ Jesus dragged down by anyone, much less anyone who is set on insulting the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, who is set on insulting Christ’s own priests. Is that what they are doing? Eventually in these next weeks I’ll be able to read what the CDW has written, I guess, somewhere on the internet.

But lemme tell you: Christ Jesus, the High Priest, takes note when His Sacrifice is smacked down, and when His own priests are smacked down by those who should know better. Sure, His priests might be thrown into dumpsters all around the world, but then they get to go to heaven. Jesus always wins. Again, I refuse to have my joy in Christ Jesus dragged down by anyone.

BTW: It seems to me that when it comes to Holy Mass, anything that is done is done within an ecumenical Council, not by way of rumors on the internet. When does all this take effect? Now? When the Acts of the Apostolic See are published? The CDW has already amended the 16 July 2021 motu proprio of Pope Francis. Who’s the legislator? What is this legislation? What?

Meanwhile, I’ll be doing my best to run away from the fake-liturgical-police:

The one thing the haters don’t have at all is humor. They are joyless, odious. That cannot be the case with those who remain with the Sacrifice of Jesus. No. Let us retain our joy in the Holy Spirit. Jesus has conquered. Let’s stand with Him in His trials. Let’s hear with great joy from the Eternal Judge: “Enter into the joy…”

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Filed under Humor, Liturgy, Pope Francis, Priesthood

Covid rebellion: Lead, follow, get out of the way, or lane-split! Road Danger Humor: LOL

https://youtube.com/shorts/KLQubByA84Q?

You might have to cut and paste that link in your address bar. It’s only like 5 seconds, but… Hahahaha!!!

Having finally finished off a round of courses for law enforcement chaplaincy, I’ve been thinking of doing up some courses at the local college for BLET, you know, just stuff like “defensive driving,” just life skills everyone should have, you know… like in the video above. I’ve always heard that the best defense is a good offense. Seconds before my first play as linebacker in sixth grade:

  • “What do I do as linebacker?” I asked, baiting a wink and a nod permission.
  • “Just kill everyone who’s still standing,” I was told with a laugh.
  • “Ah, that’s what ‘I got your back’ means!” I exclaimed, grinning. “I can do that!”

And having smashed down those having the pretense to remain standing on the offensive line, it was time to take that pigskin and run, splitting the difference between those caught off guard, kind of like those two “other” cars in that hilarious video above.

I’m sure you’ve had the experience of a couple of cars running parallel with each other on the highway, both going the same speed, blocking traffic way below the speed limit, perhaps maliciously, perhaps both on their phones. The solution? See the video!

Analogy: There are Covid-bullies, legislating mandates from the executive branch of government, who are in one lane, and then there are those sycophants bullying in tandem with them in the other lane, those who vote for the tyrants, since this is where they think they find salvation (having voted God out of their political platforms). They slow down the traffic of society, not wanting to let anyone by with their offensive behavior. But even as the idiots, suddenly on the defensive, scramble, someone comes from behind, breaks through with some lane-splitting, steals the ball and runs!

Sometimes the names for the two tandem slow cars are Church and State. The State has sometimes allowed religious exemptions, and sometimes those exemptions have been denied because the top leader of whatever local church community has proclaimed rabid support for the “vaccines”. You know what Pope Francis is doing, along with many Cardinals and (arch)bishops right around the world, in their out-of-control-support for the “vaccines,” not even allowing priests to offer the last rites. They have taken away from everyone the right to have a properly formed religious conscience in front of the State. That’s called stealing. The wolves rip the sheep to shreds. And, yes, I think that is objectively a mortal sin on their part. I think those religious leaders who have publicly supported the “vaccine” should write religious exemptions for those they have ever so maliciously smashed down.

A request like that from an underling is called lane-splitting both Church and State. ;-)

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Filed under Coronavirus, Humor, Road danger

Advent Project at BTSW for Thailand. Bonus: humor of Max and Father Gordon, Eh?!

Did I hear that right? You need an Advent Project? Here’s one:

https://beyondthesestonewalls.com/special-events

That project involves Father John Le in Thailand (who has been assisting Pornchai Maximilian Moontri), as well as Father Tim Moyle, in Canada, who is twinning his parish with Father Le’s Advent Project.

Meanwhile, some humor, because, it is what it is, Eh?! First of all, as a prerequisite, the first minute of this video dedicated to Canadians saying, asking, “Eh?!” after everything they say, “Eh?!”

Now then, once this twinning of parishes goes forward, everyone involved in Canada will be saying the traditional Thai greeting of “Sawasdee kup!” There are fuller spellings for orthography and changes for the person to whom you are greeting, but that’s the basic form.

  • Pornchai, with typical humor, said: “Oh great! Now everyone in Canada is going to be saying “Sawasdee kup! Eh?!”

Hahaha! Eh?! Lol.

  • Meanwhile, Father Gordon MacRae, not to be outdone in humor, having learned from the great Pornchai makes his own joke: “This is how you tell Canadian Geese from all other geese. Other geese say “Honk!” and Canadian Geese say “Honk! Eh?!”

One of these geese actually says “Eh?!” in the midst of this few seconds of honking:

Father Gordon learned well from the master of humor, Pornchai Maximilian Moontri, Eh?!

Meanwhile, be sure to go to that special events page of Beyond These Stone Walls:

https://beyondthesestonewalls.com/special-events

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Call of Duty Rittenhouse Meme: Humor and bonus, neither Vigilante nor Vigilatte®

Hahaha. What’s not funny is that the media brought about the riots in which people lost their lives. That they lost their lives is not the fault of Kyle, not in the least. They forfeited their own lives by delivering potentially deadly aggression toward Kyle. Meanwhile, Kyle had been busy putting out fires and rendering first aid. Kyle is not a vigilante. And he’s surely not a Vigilatte®:

Employment of the 2nd Amendment for defense of self and others against unprovoked and already being delivered deadly aggression is still part of this Constitutional Republic with the Rule of Law, and always remains part of Natural Law (=unalienable, God-given). Just defense is not illegal. It is a positive contribution to the virtue of justice which you never want to have to make. But if you do, it is what it is.

Kyle is the victim in all this.

Thanks for putting out fires, Kyle. Thanks for rendering first aid, Kyle. Praying for you, Kyle.

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“I’m stunned you say *Traditionis* custodes is evil”

So, my rejection of Traditionis custodes has stunned some nice people (far away from my parish, mind you). The way I see it, Traditionis custodes is an evil law, and therefore, as Saint Thomas Aquinas says, is no law at all, and is not to be obeyed or disobeyed, just ignored, for it is nothing.

  • “But Father George! Father George! I’m stunned! How can you say anything from the Great Pope Francis is evil?! He’s the Pope, and you’re not! Pope Francis is infallible in everything he says and does and thinks and emotes about! How dare you!? How dare you!?” How dare you!? I’m stunned!”

Well, there are any number of reasons why Traditionis custodes is evil. I will give just two examples here, as they suffice to demonstrate the evil nature of that “document,” papal as it may be, even if that is stunning for the less clever amongst us.

Shock Disbelief GIF - Shock Disbelief Stunned - Discover & Share GIFs

1. THE “THROW-JESUS-OUT” EVIL

“Art. 3. § 2. […] the faithful adherents of these groups may gather for the eucharistic celebration (not however in the parochial churches and without the erection of new personal parishes).”

While Jesus is happy to be with His Little Flock for the Sacrifice of the Mass in times of persecution at a “Mass Rock” or at a “Priest Hole” (a secret chapel a Catholic family might construct in their home), or in a bunk in Dachau or Auschwitz, it is inappropriate for any bishop even of Rome to throw Jesus off His own altar and out of His own church just to be politically correct.

In the case of my parish, we would have to move to the filthy slimy community center of the town. Vomit, vomit. I can’t do it. I can’t throw Jesus out just because I’m offering the Ancient Rite of Mass. It’s not right. It’s evil. Ain’t gonna happen, except in the case of a persecution under Cromwell, or Stalin, or Hitler, or Mao.

There are some in the world at large who have gone against Pope Francis in both the letter and spirit of the motu proprio, and have declared such law to be null and void in their (arch)dioceses or their territorial entities. Interesting. Stunning even. They have a “reason.” I wonder if anyone else can have a reason to cast aside Traditionis custodes entirely. Let’s move on:

Simon Cowell Face Palm GIF - Simon Cowell Face Palm - Discover & Share GIFs

2. THE “ANCIENT-RITE-IS-NOT-MASS-AT-ALL” EVIL

LETTER OF THE HOLY FATHER FRANCIS TO THE BISHOPS OF THE WHOLE WORLD, THAT ACCOMPANIES THE APOSTOLIC LETTER MOTU PROPRIO DATA “TRADITIONIS CUSTODES” Official translation Rome, 16 July 2021

[[[ At the end of paragraph six and the beginning of seven, we see that the lex orandi, the law of prayer, is common to whatever rites of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, such as the “ordinary” and “extraordinary” forms of the Roman Rite (as Benedict XVI called them), for, he insisted the Sacrifice of the Sacrifice of the Mass is the lex orandi.]]]

“Benedict XVI declared “the Missal promulgated by St. Pius V and newly edited by Blessed John XXIII, as a extraordinary expression of the same lex orandi”, granting a “more ample possibility for the use of the 1962 Missal”. [6]

“In making their decision they were confident that such a provision would not place in doubt one of the key measures of Vatican Council II or minimize in this way its authority: the Motu proprio recognized that, in its own right, “the Missal promulgated by Paul VI is the ordinary expression of the lex orandi of the Catholic Church of the Latin rite”. [7] The recognition of the Missal promulgated by St. Pius V “as an extraordinary expression of the same lex orandi” did not in any way underrate the liturgical reform, but was decreed with the desire to acknowledge the “insistent prayers of these faithful,” allowing them “to celebrate the Sacrifice of the Mass according to the editio typica of the Roman Missal promulgated by Blessed John XXIII in 1962 and never abrogated, as the extraordinary form of the Liturgy of the Church”. [8]”

  • [6] Benedict XVI, Letter to the Bishops on the occasion of the publication of the Apostolic Letter “Motu proprio data” Summorum Pontificum on the use of the Roman Liturgy prior to the reform of 1970, 7 july 2007: AAS 99 (2007) 797.
  • [7] Benedict XVI, Apostolic Letter given Motu proprio “ Summorum Pontificum”, 7 july 2007: AAS 99 (2007) 779.
  • [8] Benedict XVI, Apostolic Letter given Motu proprio “ Summorum Pontificum”, 7 july 2007: AAS 99 (2007) 779.

APOSTOLIC LETTER ISSUED “MOTU PROPRIO” BY THE SUPREME PONTIFF FRANCIS «TRADITIONIS CUSTODES»

[[[But then, in Art. 1 of Traditionis custodes itself, we read that the Ancient Rite is not part of the lex orandi, has no claim to validly present the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and therefore is no Mass at all.]]]

Art. 1. The liturgical books promulgated by Saint Paul VI and Saint John Paul II, in conformity with the decrees of Vatican Council II, are the unique expression of the lex orandi of the Roman Rite.

[[[My comment: If the consecrations are not now valid for the Ancient Rite, bringing about the Holy Sacrifice, then they never were valid, nor are any consecrations valid for any rite of Holy Mass, whether Novus Ordo or any other Latin or Eastern Rite liturgies. None. This is evil. Therefore it is not a law. Stunning, isn’t it? It’s not rocket science. But still, some nice people insist that they are stunned:]]]

It’s like the papabile guy, the The String Puller For All®, telling me that Jesus being crucified was a kind of failure on His part. That’s what Judas thought, right?

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Filed under Humor, Liturgy, Pope Benedict XVI, Pope Francis

Forget Jesus! It’s Blah Blah Time for The Blah Blah Synod™ (Humor)

There are endless Blah Blah memes on the internet. I love it. Hahahahaha.

In this sample, someone has been blah-blah-ing, all of which is entirely out-of-hand dismissed by summing up all that blah-blah-ing by asking if it were all mere blah-blah-ing… which is unanswerable, as it would involve hyper-blah-blah-ing… Bwahahahahahahaha

Anyone with a spiritual life can pierce through the obscurantist blah-blah-ing of self-canonizing heroes of sacrosanct fake-condescension altruistic bigly “listening” by simply humbly thanking Jesus for the pardon of their own sins and rejoicing that Jesus is the Absolute Truth, the Living Truth, the Unmanipulatable Truth, Jesus, Truth Incarnate, ever ancient, ever new, who still bears the wounds of His standing in our place, the Innocent for the guilty.

Those wounds of Jesus are the result of His listening to us. The wounds… Did you forget the wounds of Jesus, (arch)bishops? When did you do that? With rationalizing, accompanying sin? Yep. That’s exactly when you cast Jesus off to the side.

It’s clear to anyone with any humility that Jesus is not to be thrown off to the side so as to pretend He’s not there, so as to put the emphasis on rationalizing any and all sin on the basis of being heroes of such disgusting arrogant condescension of manipulative so-called “listening.” It’s easy to see that these “listeners” are attempting to take the place of Jesus: they are the saviors.

The only ones blah-blahing in this way are those listening… you know… to themselves going blah-blah. It’s like Soros-esque blah-blah-ers are making noise for those who are pretending to listen, but are also Soros-esque recipients, happy to be fake-saviors. And they’re all the same age as James Martin. Interesting, that. It’s all manipulative listening, which is not listening at all.

The extreme-vast majority of priests and bishops set this up by rejecting the Church’s teaching against contraception and abortion and infanticide and euthanasia. So many have been gay-ing and trans-ing the young, permitting extreme porn “sex-education” in their parochial schools (to the point of having field trips to abortion clinics to show them where they can go for “help”).

And those young people have been speaking, loud and clear, you know, their corpses six-feet-underground, dead, but loud and clear in their suicide, having been way over-sexualized, and feeling themselves to be trash. They’re sick of it, all that blah-blah-blah, empty, vacuous, death-mongering blah-blah. Youngsters want Jesus, not blah-blah-blah.

What young people want to hear about is some hope that they can be temples of the Holy Spirit, that they can be chaste bearers of the life of the Most Holy Trinity within their souls, that they can have great joy in the midst of trials because God’s love is stronger than our darkness, stronger that our temptations, stronger than our feeling distant from God, stronger than any suffering of aggression, stronger than any sickness and death, strong enough to get us to heaven right through all those things: Jesus has conquered, we can be with Him: He wants us to be with Him. He loves us.

Of course we listen to people, but not to empower their hopelessness, not to rationalize their sin for them, but rather to say, Jesus, ever ancient, ever new, is the answer, but an answer, mind you, which makes it manifest that we have the wrong questions, which is not off-putting, but rather entirely enthralling: Finally, someone taking us seriously. The legit questions are not about how to sin and still please God, or how to get accompanied in sin so as surely to please God… – Pfft! – but rather the legit questions are how can we best assent to the work of Jesus lifting us up out of our quagmire… how can we best go along with the grace of Jesus saving us from ourselves… how we can best live the fullness of life… how can we best be on our way to heaven even while we still bear the weaknesses of original sin and whatever of our own rubbish… how we can love God in spirit and in truth…

  • “But Father George! Father George! That’s NOT listening! That’s teaching! That’s leading to Jesus! That’s not allowed! It’s a process! Get with the methodology! It’s called dialectical materialism at this stage of the thesis-antithesis dynamic! You stupid priest! We aging hippies are smart you know. We were educated at like Woodstock and stuff like that, so, so… there!”

So, this priest is not busy with blah-blahing. This priest is busy with getting food for my parishioners, real food and spiritual food. And Jesus is still the Bread of Life, Pachamama is not any kind of god, the TLM is still valid and licit, sex outside of marriage is still a mortal sin, absolution is to be given only to those who are repentant, etc. I don’t care what the blah-blah-ers say. Jesus saved me from being a blah-blah-er. I hope to thank Him by not being a blah-blah-er. I hope to repeat with Saint Paul:

  • “When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or wisdom [viz., blah-blah] as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God, for I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified” (1 Cor 2:1-2). :-)

Or, wait… what? Let’s review…

  • “Father George! Father George! We want to dialogue about our desires for desecrating the Most Blessed Sacrament! And you have to listen to us because Pope Francis and the USCCB said so. You must give Holy Communion to pro-abort Joe Biden, and so, like, haha!”
    • Father George: “I think I heard you say Blah-Blah-Blah. Is that correct?”
  • “Father George! Father George! We want to dialogue about our cozy feelings of funding the Catholic Campaign for Human Development and Catholic Relief Services. And we require you to cooperate formally in abortion activities in this way. Listen to us! Accompany us! You are obliged to listen to us! It’s the law!”
    • Father George: “I think I heard you say Blah-Blah-Blah. Is that correct?”
  • “Father George! Father George! Listen! Stop going on Communion Calls. Let laypeople do the Last Rites. As for you, we want you to spend all your time listening to us about how the Church is to be conformed to what you call a fallen world! And for Pachamama’s sake, stop hearing sacramental Confessions! How dare you! How dare you! HOW DARE YOU! The more time you spend with Jesus and what you dare to call Jesus’ Little Flock is less time with us, we who are brave enough to do a great reset with all religion. It’s all about us. We’re the ones. We’re the only ones! The first step is to make ministers irrelevant by obliging them to blah-blah with us.”
    • Father George: “I think I heard you say Blah-Blah-Blah. Is that correct?”

You get the idea. ;-)

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Roots of the Blah Blah Synod™ – Humor! Memes of Blah Blah Blah amongst the young. Great!

With Cardinal Bernadine’s Common Ground Blah Blah Blah, all doctrine and all morality was thrown up for “dialogue”. All the marxists came out to discuss perverted sex. Pretty much that’s it. I lived through that excrement era. Now it’s back. Blah blah blah.

Then a marxist catechist guy perverted all the faith formation in Australia. For instance, just ask second graders what they think about the white thing instead of teaching them about Holy Communion and Jesus present Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity as brought to us at the Holy Sacrificed of the Mass. No, no. Just encourage stories about cookies and birthday parties with cookies and offer no correction but only affirmation. Yes, that’s it, just a cookie thing. You know, the thing! And that was brought to America. Blah blah blah.

But we already had programs for parish renewal that had nothing to do with Jesus and the Sacraments, but only about throwing all doctrine and morality to the winds. Whaddayou think? No direction, no instruction, no encouragement. Just everyone falling away from the Church. That’s the point. Blah blah blah.

Already in about every diocese priests were forced to go to conferences, but then, instead of any great presentation, we had to break into small groups at which strategic liberal bully priests would lead the discussion and then report back in democratic fashion to all assembled, only that the liberal bully priest would loudly talk over everyone and not report back any of the contributions buy only what was the destruction of all doctrine and morality. Blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blobidiblahblahblahblahblah…

It’s like a meme about the mindless puppets of ever more blah blah blah. When I saw the great music video below and how sick young people are of the blah blah blah of the marxist ideologues in society and amonst some marxist individuals in the Church, and when I thought of how the same young people cry out “Let’s go Brandon! F*** Joe Biden!”… well, that’s when I laughed out loud. The exemplars of blah blah blah that I’ve known in my life are all modernist religious sisters with no habit but who reject all the teaching and morality of the Church whose names are all Sister Butch. But they skip the “sister” part now. All they do is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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Blah Blah Synod™ coming to your parish

Yeah, sure, like I got plenty of time as a priest to throw all doctrine and morality to the winds so as to open up a lot of blah blah blah dialectical materialism propaganda promoting the denial of the validity of the Traditional Latin Mass, the viability of demon idol worship, the protection of same sex unions for their precious styles of mortal-sin-orgasm, the desecration of the Blessed Sacrament thrown to the pigs, fake-non-repentance-absolutions, etc., etc., etc. Yeah, sure I have time for that… … NO! I don’t have time for words structured to profane the Eternal and Living Word of our Heavenly Father.

Did you notice? The Living Truth, Jesus, has no place in all this blah blah blah. None.

Meanwhile, yesterday, I found out more about what the USCCB wants of us priests regarding this heresy of blah blah blah, that is, the Synod on Synodality. Pages and pages of blah blah blah all about blah blah blah.

It wasn’t a good time for me to get that in my inbox. No siree. I was up at 1:00 AM to do chores, offer Holy Mass up at church, then take a parishioner to a Veterans Administration hospital hours away, a whole day on my as-always-epic-day-off. Getting back just at nightfall, just trying to finish the Breviary before conking out… riiiiiiiing… riiiiiing…. “[name] is in the ICU, Father.” “I’m on my way.” That was in the neighboring town 15 miles away one way. Last rites. I was destroyed by the time I got back, but really happy as a priest. This is what I live for. Totally. I love it. I did get a bit upset though… thinking on the way back about all the blah blah blah that those ecclesiastics are dreaming up for priests who are actually busy with the Lord’s Little Flock. But… blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That’s it from them. How I would like to reprimand them, like, out loud for God and the world to witness, as a kind of vengeance for the souls of the Lord’s Little Flock.

Just then, while driving on the dark back road past Vengeance Creek (a real place), I just up and laughed out loud all alone in my car – except for my guardian angel – laughing out loud kind of like this:

Image result for gifs three men laughing

The cause of the laughter? It’s because of a Jesuit, actually, you know, way back in the day, who came to mind, surely the work of my guardian angel:

From the letters to Saint Ignatius by Saint Francis Xavier, priest
(E Vita Francisci Xaverii, auctore H. Tursellini, Romae, 1956, Lib. 4, epist. 4 [1542] et 5 [1544])

Woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel

  • “We have visited the villages of the new converts who accepted the Christian religion a few years ago. No Portuguese live here—the country is so utterly barren and poor. The native Christians have no priests. They know only that they are Christians. There is nobody to say Mass for them; nobody to teach them the Creed, the Our Father, the Hail Mary and the Commandments of God’s Law. I have not stopped since the day I arrived. I conscientiously made the rounds of the villages. I bathed in the sacred waters all the children who had not yet been baptized. This means that I have purified a very large number of children so young that, as the saying goes, they could not tell their right hand from their left. The older children would not let me say my Office or eat or sleep until I taught them one prayer or another. Then I began to understand: The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. I could not refuse so devout a request without failing in devotion myself. I taught them, first the confession of faith in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, then the Apostles’ Creed, the Our Father and Hail Mary. I noticed among them persons of great intelligence. If only someone could educate them in the Christian way of life, I have no doubt that they would make excellent Christians. Many, many people hereabouts are not becoming Christians for one reason only: there is nobody to make them Christians. Again and again I have thought of going round the universities of Europe, especially Paris, and everywhere crying out like a madman, riveting the attention of those with more learning than charity: “What a tragedy: how many souls are being shut out of heaven and falling into hell, thanks to you!” I wish they would work as hard at this as they do at their books, and so settle their account with God for their learning and the talents entrusted to them. This thought would certainly stir most of them to meditate on spiritual realities, to listen actively to what God is saying to them. They would forget their own desires, their human affairs, and give themselves over entirely to God’s will and his choice. They would cry out with all their heart: Lord, I am here! What do you want me to do? Send me anywhere you like—even to India.”

Hahaha. I love the saints. But instead, we have the The Heresy of Blah Blah Blah™. I’m sick of it. I don’t have time for it. I think good old Saint Francis Xavier would’ve about taken the head off any priest or bishop who would instead tell him that he should be concerned about blah blah blah blah blah, and not concerned about Jesus and the sacraments. Lemme tell you. People know all about blah blah blah. That’s all they get. From their priests they want Jesus and the Sacraments, no blah blah.

And if anyone thinks this is disrespectful of The Blah Blah Synod™, know this, I’ll have a reprimand for you along the lines of Saint Francis Xavier. After all, the saints are not to be heroes that we put on a pedestal and say they’re great and I’m great for saying they’re great. That would get us condemned by Jesus for building the tombs of the prophets while we kill the prophets in this way, giving ourselves a license to kill.

Instead, the saints are to be invoked that we might strive to follow their example whatever the cost to ourselves.

Will I get in trouble with, say, the USCCB or the Holy See for saying the Synod on Synodality is the Heresy of Blah Blah Blah™? Maybe. Just more blah blah blah.

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Trump on Pencil-Neck Schiff. Not so anachronistic humor.

  • “Splutter! Splutter! Splutter! Father George! You’re so mean! Priests shouldn’t be, like, mean, and stuff, like…”

So, we’ve so easily forgotten about the pullout from Afghanistan and all the dead and all the tortured and all the left-behind?

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😀 La gente come noi non voglia mai! Day brightener! 😀

  • La gente come noi non voglia mai! La gente come noi non voglia mai! La gente come noi… La gente come noi… La gente come noi non voglia mai!
  • People like us don’t want it ever! People like us don’t want it ever! People like us… People like us… People like us don’t want it ever!

What that means, right around the world, is: Let’s go Brandon! :-)

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Filed under Coronavirus, Free exercise of religion, Humor

Pope Francis: “They want me dead!” Humor.

  • Father George: “I’ve totally been successful in making sure I will never become a bishop, just in case there was a one in a million chance as time goes on.”
  • Father MacRae: “Your chances of ever becoming a bishop are less than zero, Father George.”
  • Father George: “Great!”
  • Father MacRae: “There is a greater chance that you, Father George, will be run over by a bishop in a hit and run “accident” than you stand in being appointed a bishop yourself.”

The scare-quotes of “accident” are Father Gordon’s, meaning, there’s a pretty good chance I might die in a hit and run planned out by any bishop… and therefore… there might still be some kind of chance that I become a bishop.

So, following up on that fact, at the end of the conversation, Father Gordon, my spiritual director, with the greatest of humor, said: “Keep writing, Father George!”

Father Gordon wants me dead, I guess, or at least that I make sure that I never ever become a bishop! ;-)

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