Category Archives: Humor

New York Bail Reform: Violent Crime? You walk! Analogy with VIRTUS®

In New York, you can get away with anything for free and skip your court date and still get away without a bond to escape again. So, that invites violent crime, and of course the first ones perps will try this out on are cops. This post is categorized and tagged also as humor because Mike the Cop in the video is so very angry – rightly so – that he can only keep it together by inserting a bit of chancy humor.

FoxNews NEW YORK — Two New York City police officers narrowly escaped with their lives when a gunman fired into their patrol van Saturday night, wounding one of them in an attack officials called an attempted assassination. The ambush, which Police Commissioner Dermot Shea said “should outrage all New Yorkers,” happened just before 8:30 pm in the South Bronx. The officer at the wheel of the van was grazed in the chin and neck, but he avoided serious injury, Shea said. He was expected to released from the hospital Sunday. “He is lucky to be alive,” Shea said. “He is expected to make a full recovery and it is a miracle.” Shea recalled other unprovoked assaults on police officers sitting in their patrol vehicles.

Mayor Bill de Blasio, a Democrat, condemned the latest attack at a news briefing outside the Bronx hospital where the wounded officer was being treated. “There’s too much hatred in general, there’s too much hatred being directed at our officers, and it has to end,” the mayor said. “We have to move forward in a situation like this and find a way to create a peaceful society, not one where those who protect us are in danger in this way.” [And the way to do that is to have no bond for violent crimes?]

The two uniformed officers, partners for eight years and friends since middle school, were sitting in their van with emergency lights activated when a man approached them and engaged them in conversation, Shea said. The man asked the officers for directions, then pulled out a gun “without provocation,” the commissioner said. The man fired multiple shots, striking the officer behind the wheel. Shea said the officer’s carotid artery narrowly avoided injury. Neither officer returned fire. The officer’s partner drove him to a hospital nearby. Shea called both officers “heroic” for their composure and said their long association made for “an amazing story.”

Officers had a basic description of the gunman, who fled after the shooting, but his identity was unknown. Security video that appeared to capture the shooting shows the van driving quickly away as a man appeared to point something at the fleeing vehicle. The officers had been stationed in the neighborhood because of recent drug activity and violence, Shea said. The president of the police union, Pat Lynch, said the department will use “all its resources” to bring the shooter to justice. [He means to bring the shooter to no bail and walk and skip town to come back later and do the same thing. You can bring a perp to justice, but New York justice actually promotes violent crimes and crimes of turpitude.]


My own comment on something analogously stupid:

When I sat through the VIRTUS® Child Protection training there were guidelines presented about possibly suspect people, so that if one noticed TWO things in a list of suspicious behaviors, then one was to bring this up the ladder. The problem was that one of the things was showing porn to minors. So, if you haven’t by chance noticed one more suspect behavior, then you are to just let it go. It’s not suspect behavior at all. All good. VIRTUS® is the education arm of The National Catholic Risk Retention Group. They should all be thrown in prison, with no bail before any court date either.

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Filed under Humor, Law enforcement, Officer Down!, VIRTUS(R)

Keto Day 82 – Imaginative recipes

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The ice cube soup picture was sent in by a reader making fun of Keto, all for encouragement, mind you. Day 81 was finished by having lost 44.6 pounds. That’s more than 1/2 pound a day, if you’re counting. Still feeling much, much better and full of energy and not hungry and able to exercise and lots of other health and psychological benefits. I’m NOT saying I’ll be on this diet much longer. Just until I reach my goal, which is to be in the upper range of “healthy” on the BMI scale.

BTW, I think ice cube soup is what pilgrims get to “eat” while doing a penitential pilgrimage to Saint Patrick’s Purgatory on Station Island in Lough Derg, County Donegal, Ireland. I think the cooks also throw in a very granules of black pepper for taste. The pilgrimage tradition goes all the way back to the fifth century, when Patrick was there.

Mind you, it’s not the ice cube soup that is in any way Keto. Whilst the pilgrims at Lough Derg relish their ice cube soup after having walked the rock in the ice cold water, they smell the aroma of bacon wafting along from the windows of the warm kitchen of the priests house. “Bacon.” That’s Keto! ;-)

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Filed under Diet, Humor, Recipes

On becoming an old geezer. I like it.

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It’s important to keep a sense of humor.

This was seen at a Communion Call the other day. The old geezer guy there, down at Shootin’ Creek (a real place in these most remote of back ridges of the Appalachians), has stage four cancer. His wife is so helpful and loving to him. Neither are senile.

I love being a priest, taking Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament through His beautiful creation to His Little Flock. It’s so very easy to see Jesus in His Little Flock.

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Filed under Humor, Priesthood, Vocations

Things that make me laugh, or not. Better than all levity is this…

Yep. Sorry. I guess I’m uncharitable. I laughed out loud when I heard the pencil neck comment. It was the intonation. And then it got worse, or… better. Hahaha. Sorry. Having said all that:

solemn intercession good friday secular rulers

Meanwhile, there are those who send me bits and pieces from SNL. I’ve never in my life ever found anything on SNL funny, just terribly sad. They all seem depressed, desperate, lost, expert in all that which is truly evil and bad and therefore deathly boring. That has always been my opinion, since it came on the air until now.

Meanwhile, anyone plying any sexual innuendo trying to be comical I also surmise to be depressed, desperate, lost, expert in all that which is truly evil and bad and therefore deathly boring.

It’s not that I’m virtuous, mind you. No. Not at all. But, as a priest, I do come across situations which are truly evil – straight out of hell – and those almost always involve abuse of the sex, and abuse of others, including minors by way of sex. I see the destruction of lives. Not good. Really evil.

More than that, personally, I’ve already written about how I was unwittingly made into the kiddie-porn star when I was a little kid. So, no, I don’t find that kind of thing humorous. Even if people are way the other way, so that they are so jaded by the horror of the aggression of the world in these matters that they make a joke so as to be sarcastic with the stupid ways of the world, still, even then, it is better to concentrate on the things that are above, not on those below.

  • It is better to hidden with Christ in God (see Colossians 3:3).
  • It is better to be built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit (see Ephesians 2:22)

What is better than all mere levity is true humor, which necessitates a sense of irony before the Sacred Mysteries: God would use the likes of us specifically in our fallen human nature to evangelize His goodness and His truth, His kindness and His truth, His respect for others and His truth. Did I say truth? Did I mention how it’s ironic to us because of our fallen human nature that we find it odd that justice and mercy are but one in God? When we get a hold of this even just a little bit in our lives it is an occasion for great joy in the Holy Spirit. This joy is seen in this great smile of Hilaire Belloc:

hilaire belloc

“But this IS my smile.”

The humor that he’s smiling about so enthusiastically is this bit he wrote about irony, specifically Christian Irony. When you read this – as some of you have done many times – remember to keep Jesus and Him crucified front and center, or else you won’t understand in the least what Hilaire is saying.

  • “To the young, the pure, and the ingenuous, irony must always appear to have a quality of something evil, and so it has, for […] it is a sword to wound. It is so directly the product or reflex of evil that, though it can never be used – nay, can hardly exist – save in the chastisement of evil, yet irony always carries with it some reflections of the bad spirit against which it was directed. […] It suggests most powerfully the evil against which it is directed, and those innocent of evil shun so terrible an instrument. […] The mere truth is vivid with ironical power […] when the mere utterance of a plain truth labouriously concealed by hypocrisy, denied by contemporary falsehood, and forgotten in the moral lethargy of the populace, takes upon itself an ironical quality more powerful than any elaboration of special ironies could have taken in the past. […] No man possessed of irony and using it has lived happily; nor has any man possessing it and using it died without having done great good to his fellows and secured a singular advantage to his own soul.” [Hilaire Belloc, “On Irony” (pages 124-127; Penguin books 1325. Selected Essays (2/6), edited by J.B. Morton; Harmondsworth – Baltimore – Mitcham 1958).]

[Deadpan statement:] So, you might say, Hilaire Belloc is hilarious.

[Then: wait for it…]

Image result for gifs three men laughing

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Filed under Humor, Irony, Politics

Dogs is better’n cats: Change my mind. Most playful attack dogs in the world.

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Yes, Shadow-dog does get hosed off. He likes that as much as getting muddy. He likes to bait Laudie-dog into playing, and she shows him who’s really boss, boxing his ears with both front paws at the same time, though not baring her ferocious fangs for a second. They really are best friends. She’s just cleaner, and wants to stay that way.

In an effort to change out mud holes, I restricted Shadow dog to being closer in to the house, as there is still an old fence to use. But his hopping from side to side in front of that fence when making his usual commentary on passing events has made for some embankments. As I kid, when I did that for downhill skiing up in the North Woods: moguls. I got good at it, enough to get little impromptu audiences. But maybe they were just waiting for the crazy-insane-kid to be out of the way.

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It’s hard to tell from the picture, but the turning mogul on the right is dug down and built up from the hopping turns so that from bottom to top is about 1 1/2 feet high. That only took one day of unintentional mogul building. I’m impressed. Shadow gets his exercise all day every day.

The anomalous all-black GSDs have a slightly different genetic structure, closer, I would guess, to wolfdom. They have what some call a straight back instead of the back sloping down from shoulders to tail. But Shadow-dog’s back actually is higher. The speed factor is amazing.

He can go from the not-lying-down-but-actually-crouching-attack-position – closely eyeing a potential enemy who needs to be vetted out – to full speed racing as a test-attack to see the reaction of the would-be enemy, the ol’ going straight from zero to a hundred thing in bare nanoseconds. I like that. A lot. Even if the enemy is a squirrel, a cat, the neighbor’s therapy pony or the next-door neighbor’s dog. Sometimes, though, it’s a possibly nefarious human who instantly understands the instruction not to come over the fence to do up a home invasion. To see the speed, I only need to open the side gate to let him go in the bigger back yard.

Laudie-dog is much calmer. But she knows that she doesn’t need to prove herself to me. She’s already saved me so very many times from monsters: bears and lynx and coyotes and snakes and red wolves and now grey wolves, and even a panther. That last one was a fright.

  • Dogs are the best. Cats are… cats…
  • Dogs are man’s best friend. Cats are… cats…
  • Dogs protect you and yours. Cats… watch the worst go down…
  • Dogs are eager to learn. Cats think they know it all…
  • Dogs watch birds. Cat’s eat the birds for whom you put out bird-seed…

I mean, if you can add to the list, or defend cats (which I would be interested in seeing), drop a comment. Let me put it this way, although dogs and cats are equally God’s good creatures, my fallen human nature says:

Dogs are better than cats. Change my mind.

There were both dogs and cats around the house when I was a kid. I have dogs now, but no cats. Am I therefore wrong to even voice an opinion? Do I need to get a cat to be able to legitimately express my inner creation commentary?

If I were to get a cat, it would have to be black (to match priest-clothes), have short hair, not shed, be content with dry cat food, not scratch-attack, purr really really really a lot, and loudly, get along with both Shadow-dog and Laudie-dog without scratching their eyes out, and otherwise not be “catty”… or is that something cats absolutely have to be?

Finally, I know, I know: there are anomalies…

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Filed under Dogs, Humor

Three Wise Men sneak to the crib as murderous Herod hunts for the Child

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2020-01-04 · 3:08 pm

Better’n BleachBit: I just shoot stuff.

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When you shoot a hard drive in actually only takes one bullet to put it to death. The disk is literally turned into the finest metallic powder that wafts up in a cloud from the remains of the hard drive casing, all in sparkling micro-particulates floating in the air reflecting any sunshine in 10,000 various colors. :-) The hard drives above belong to a number of people who trust that I can take care of data protection for them, as it were, so to speak. I think I have too much fun. Liberals like Hillary have no fun at all.

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Filed under Guns, Humor

Three Wise Men… Are You Serious? Humor.

I received a proclamation of “Touché” from the reader who sent in the previous Smart Alec dish towel for the answer I gave in response. Here:

But that admission was just to set me off guard and give me a false sense of confidence, as I was then immediately countered by… this other dish towel above.

There is also an entirely good explanation for the flabbergastery bluster going on here. This has nothing to do with any assertion that you could never find anywhere in the entire world a wise man, much less three of them, and at the same time and place. No.

This is all about there being only three wise men of all the uncountable wise men in all the world who showed up. Only three?!!!? Yes, but there is also an explanation for that. All the other wise men are busy trying to teach all the women folk how to be wise…

[[ I can see that this is not going anywhere good anywhere fast… How do I get out of this?… I haven’t been very wise… ]]

 

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Filed under Christmas, Humor

Two donkeys at the door

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I was at the door of a parishioner’s house last evening, and was very taken by this Christmas scene that had been tacked up there. So joyful. So peaceful. I note that all the animals, including the donkey, have their ears back, listening for any danger that might disturb their Almighty Creator so humbly come among us. The donkey is a professional at this. All donkeys are Guard-Donkeys. Oh, by the way, I was the donkey at the door. If you look closely, you’ll see that there are two donkeys pictured in the picture.

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Filed under Christmas, Donkeys, Humor

Not Three Kings, but Three Wise Women?!

This was sent in to Arise! Hmmm… Let’s take a look at that… [The one who sent this in, BTW, has a great sense of humor, and won’t mind a bit that I’m fisking this dish cloth hanging in front of the stove. What I say, although incisive, will I hope, also bring about a wee laugh.]

  • Three Wise Women would have ignored the guiding star instead asking directions to a place they had no idea where it was and so couldn’t ask directions and so would get themselves into trouble, at the least being sold into slavery…
  • Three Wise Women, in ignoring the star and so arriving in what they themselves think is on time – they being so wise – would have instead messed up the divine providence of the timing so that Herod would have been successful in killing Jesus with all the boys of Bethlehem two years old and under…
  • Three Wise Women would have tried to help the deliver the baby, which, instead of being born in the normal way, had a miraculous birth, much like how Jesus Himself walked right through the closed and locked doors of the Upper Room after the Resurrection, and this would have made them upset, because, you know, they came all that way…
  • Because of being upset with the miraculous birth, the three Wise Women would have ignored the moment and purposely busied themselves with the feces of the animals, because that’s the most important thing at the moment. We should call to mind that when Jesus’ good mom appeared to Bernadette in Lourdes, it was in the cave filled with pig-feces, symbolic of what was going on in Lourdes at the time. Mary is used to humble circumstances, and in being in solidarity with us, even standing under the Cross in all the violence, in the … feces of our sins.
  • Three Wise Women would have made a casserole, ignoring Hebrew dietary laws but bullying their way along, making everyone sad…
  • Three Wise Women wouldn’t realize the most practical thing in the world is to pray, not doing the Martha thing running about in frantic mode, but doing the Mary thing, at the feet of Jesus, in this case listening to His baby cooing.
    • Instead of gold for a king as a symbol of His good providence in governance for the poor ones of His little flock, the three Wise Women would have started a much more practical interest-bearing bank account, perhaps with Herod. Who else?
    • Instead of frankincense for The Priest as a symbol of how He would offer Himself in sacrifice for us, the Innocent for guilty, and so having the right in His own justice to have mercy on us, the three Wise Women would have given him Febreze™ Plug In Scents to suffocate the smells of the cave.
    • Instead of Myrrh used for the burial of a corpse – such as Jesus would surely be in speaking the Truth and thus being killed off like any prophet – the three Wise Women would have gifted Him normal spices that they could mix up in the casserole they themselves would eat.

And all this – let us be most clear – NOT because they are women, but because these three individual women would proclaim themselves as being wise (which the three kings never did), ending up, in their lack of wisdom, rejecting the entire economy of salvation to put themselves in front of everyone, drawing attention to themselves, you know, all in the name of Feminism, which brings the peace of a mere lack of war, what with everyone being dead already, instead of the sword of division which Jesus in His perfect wisdom came to bring, a sword of truth which instead brings us to reality, to repentance, to forgiveness, and therefore to love and respect for others, unto truth and the joy of the Holy Spirit, and therefore unto the true peace of Heaven. Jesus is the Prince of the Most Profound Peace. I’ll stick with His ways so far above the ways of any of us who think we are wise. We have all sinned against Him whom we have all pierced. We have all thought ourselves to be wise… So… Jesus is the One. He’s the only One.

Having said all that, I have to say that that dish towel perfectly sums up the Benedictine sisters I had for teachers when I was kid, that is, after 1968 and into the early 1970s. Yikes!

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Filed under Christmas, Humor, Jesus, Mary

If eOR Worst-of-All went to Confession for Christmas

Some preliminaries:

  • I don’t have anything much in common with eOR (an onomatopoeia-esque name, or more precisely, echomimetic), except when he entirely almost honestly tries to be humble, kind of. That’s me, always tempted to be self-congratulatory. eOR, my friend. I pray? No. I flip that first letter up and I just bray. In fact, I make a thing of it, singing my braying as if that were something meritorious:

  • Saint Nick, or Santa Claus, or Saint Nicolas, or Sinterklaas, that is, Νίκη-λαός (Conqueror of the People) was a Roman Catholic Bishop in Myra in Asia Minor, modern day Demre, Turkey. The modern day Saint Nick still sports the red vestments of the original saint. The canonized Saint Nicolas lived way back in the days of the early Roman Empire (270-343 A.D.). His feast day on the liturgical calendar is the day he died, December 6. He’s famous for gift giving, and over the centuries was mixed up with the gift-giving wise men at the cave in Bethlehem at the birth of the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Prince of the Most Profound Peace whom they had traveled so far to bow down and offer homage. Then Epiphany, when the wisemen showed up, was confused with Christmas day itself, so that Saint Nick or Santa Claus became the iconic gift giver at Christmas, basically the whole world being Catholic. In these days of absolute idiocy today – some 16 and 17 hundred years later, we would do well to remember what the great saint’s gifts were way back in the day. He rescued three girls from being pimped out by their fathers into prostitution by tossing a little sack of gold coins through their windows so that their proper dowries could be paid. But what I equally like about him is the account of his physically smashing down the horrific heretic of heretics, the priest Arius, during the First Council of Nicaea. Hahaha. That must have been a great show. Hahaha. That’s a great gift to the Church! I love Saint Nicolas the Conqueror of Arius.
  • It used to be that Christmas was a time for the joy of giving gifts. Imagine seeing the joy of the girls whose dowry was paid, so that they could marry the love of their lives instead of being smashed down and surely killed off after a short time in the ever violent and hellish world of prostitution. But it’s also not about us “getting something out of it, you know, that fuzzy warm feeling. It’s about real charity, helping someone up out of love of God and neighbor. Here’s the essential of it: We’re not supposed to look to our heroes like Saint Nick for the gifts they give us, but rather for how they give an example which we strive to imitate: love God and neighbor!
  • But now it’s all about entitlement in receiving gifts. Hmmm. That ain’t no good. In that case, we end up like eOR above, trying to brag about how good we’ve been and not naughty, conniving to look cute as we go from “I’ve been good” to “better than most” to “not as bad as some.” Doesn’t cut it.

Here’s the deal: Unlike eOR, the saints have it that they themselves are the worst sinners of all, for God loves us also individually and Jesus has stood in our place, the Innocent for the guilty, also individually, so that only I have sinned against Him and therefore only I can be the absolute worst sinner of all before Him. He loves me… and I myself offended Him. When Jesus lays down His life for us, He doesn’t do that because we’ve somehow successfully proven to Him, to society and to ourselves that we’re already wonderful, that we don’t need Him to lay down His life for us so as to have the right in His own justice to save us. He does this because He love us before we have loved Him. When we realize this we are stricken with awe, with love, with thanksgiving, much like the soldier on Calvary who thrust his sword into the side of Jesus, only then saying: “Truly this Man was the Son of God.”

When it comes to Confession, not to Santa Claus but to Jesus in the Confessional, we’re simply just to make a Confession that has four aspects starting with the letter “C”:

  • Complete – all mortal sins in kind and number and important circumstance (so that a young man who kills and old man is a grave sin, but that old man is the young man’s father, that’s an important circumstance that needs to be confessed as it involves yet another mortal sin against honoring one’s parents). Thus, an act of impurity is a mortal sin, but it is worse if this is done with another, leading another into sin, and yet still worse if one or both are married (thus adultery), and so on.
  • Concise: DON’T give unimportant details. Priests don’t want to hear it. Don’t tell the priest the sins of others. This is a terrible abuse of the sacrament. Priests don’t want to hear it. Don’t tell the priest all your excuses, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Seriously: priests don’t wan’t to hear all this blather. Look, when you go before the judgment of the Lord, you will not be able to give any excuses or blame anyone else for your sin. It’s much better to confess now, honestly, and go to heaven, than to trick the priest now (which you don’t) and then go to hell later.
  • Contrite: Be sorry for your sins at least at the level of imperfect contrition, wherein you dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. Try to have perfect contrition, by which your sorry for having offended God’s love for you, for He is worthy of all of our love. We have to have a firm purpose of amendment of life to be truly sorry in whatever way for our sins. We can’t intend to sin again. We have to have hope. We have to desire not to sin again. Confessing is to be done in the past tense: “I blasphemed God five times. I’m sorry to God.” Confessing is not to be done in the present or future tense: “I do blaspheme God and I will continue to do so.” That doesn’t make sense, does it? No. Neither does shacking up with someone, not being repentant of that, but wanting absolution for one’s own feelings so that one can feel holy and self-congratulatory and self-righteous in going to Holy Communion, but only ending up, as Saint Paul says, eating and drinking one’s own condemnation. So: “I resolve to amend my life. Amen.”
  • Clear: “I did something bad.” Nope. Just say it. Jesus already knows, but He want’s us to be reconciled to God and neighbor (the priest represents all others through his ordination to Jesus’ Priesthood) at the same time:
    • If we love, we love the whole Body of Christ, Jesus the Head of the Body and neighbor the members of the Body. It’s one act of love for the whole Body of Christ. We don’t decapitate Him and say we love God!
    • If we sin, we sin against the whole Body of Christ, Jesus the Head of the Body and neighbor the members of the Body. It’s one act of sin, however public or however private, against the whole Body of Christ. We don’t decapitate Him and say we love God because we only sinned against ourselves or our neighbors. It’s the whole Body of Christ that we offend.
    • If we are reconciled, we are reconciled with the entire Body of Christ, Jesus the Head and we the members. We say we’re sorry to the whole Body of Christ, through the priest who represents all others and gives us the absolution of Jesus, of God, in the first person singular: “I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son ✚ and of the Holy Spirit.” Just as with love and sin, reconciliation is brought about in one only act for the entire Body of Christ.

And this is what brings one such great joy when one has actually made a good Confession, an integral, honest Confession. We stand forgiven. We’re on our way to heaven. We are filled with great joy. This is the joy of the Holy Spirit who was sent among for the forgiveness of sins. The forgiveness is brought about by the Holy Spirit flooding us with sanctifying grace. There’s no room for the guilt. We are then tabernacles of the Holy Spirit. We bear in our mortal frame the presence of the Most Holy Trinity. We are now eager to live love: “If you love me, keep the commandments” says Jesus to each of us, each of us, also to me, to you. Chaste lives, self-giving lives, honest lives, lives in which Jesus Himself shines out, His goodness, His kindness, His truth.

When we suddenly realize the greatness of the Lord’s majesty, the love and truth behind the wounds also on His risen body, that He will come to judge the living and the dead and the world by fire, we also instantly recognize just how far away we ourselves have been, perhaps enough that we reject the cuteness of eOR above, and actually find ourselves on our knees for a good Christmas Confession.

So… eOR… we might ride eOR to the Confessional, contemplating as we go our rationalizations, but then when we get into the Confessional, much better not to sing like eOR, composing scenarios and operettas, but instead just laying it out our sins, simply, in all humility, before Jesus, with those wounds upon Him, Jesus, ever so good, ever so kind, always the Divine Son of the Immaculate Conception. Amen.

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Filed under Christmas, Confession, Donkeys, Humor

Southern accent Christmas humor: Firefighters vs Law Enforcement

Both neighbors are firefighters. They talk about a “far” that needs a fightin’. This, however, was sent in by a 25 year vet of the Sheriff’s Department. There is a rivalry between firefighters and law enforcement…

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Filed under Christmas, Humor

Procrastinating in a fire: hell!

blue ridge mountains fire australia

The above picture is taken from the home of the Publisher of These Stone Walls. She’s in the Blue Mountains, not of WNC, but in NSW. What you’re looking at is a wall of fire and smoke racing over the ridges consuming everything in its path. She’s next on the list to get an evacuation order. Prayers for all those involved, residents and firefighters.

Forest fires in Australia are particularly dangerous as the common Eucalyptus tree has a highly flammable oil, making the trees literally explode like a bomb. In the heat the flaming oil is through up into the fire storm’s own turbulent winds, and is able to carried as fire balls for even a few kilometers, giving such fires the potential to spread crazy fast.

Add to that the fact the temps are up to 114 degrees Fahrenheit and we have a recipe for absolute disaster. I’ve lived in those same blue mountains down under, saw the same rising of smoke and flames shooting across the road in the front of me while driving from place to place, and, mind you, just place to place, not evacuating. It’s surprising how close we let hellfire get to our own personal lives… spiritual lives, too.

The trouble is that you tend to listen to the laid back words of the laid back Australians, and ignore it all. It’s like living on Key West and saying that you’ve weathered hurricanes successfully before as a hurricane blows you off your feet. It’s not a guarantee that things will turn out just fine this time. As I get older, I think I would just go ahead and evacuate. Or maybe I would let myself entrench in my ways. Hmmm… my spiritual life again…

Father Gordon told me this morning that he himself has no problem at all with procrastination since, of course, he’s already put off thinking about any problem with procrastination that he might otherwise have.

Hahaha.

Confession time: I can procrastinate with the spiritual life. But – hey! – knowing such horror is the first step in going about changing things up. But in this case, it’s not about me working at it so much as just allowing myself by God’s grace to be drawn into a closer friendship with Jesus, trustful of His providence from the one moment to the next. To evacuate this world and escape the fires of hell, well, there’s no room for procrastination. And our Salvation is Our Lord Jesus Himself. No fear! Confession time!

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Filed under Confession, Humor, Nature

Some Christmas Fruitcake Humor

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I mean, there have even been documentaries about Fruit Cake being gifted, only to be re-gifted indefinitely, for decades, one even since the late 1800s.

Fruit Cake was not at all my favorite as a kid. More recently it has grown on me, so to speak, which is why I’m on a Keto diet at present. My goal is 190, but numerous people tell me that would be a mistake, that ideally 210s would be a healthy weight. In that case, I’ve reached about the midway point. It’s one month today, with so far 20-25 lbs lost.

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Filed under Christmas, Humor

Officer Mader style deescalation: two anecdotes including suicide by cop

It’s been well over 3 1/2 years ago that Officer Mader put his off-the-charts skill sets in deescalation into action, and saved the life of a guy wanting to do a suicide-by-cop, well, until another officer just shot the guy three times to the body and once to the head (the latter being the instant kill shot). Then Officer Mader was fired for not firing his gun himself. Mader went on to win a $175,000 settlement for wrongful termination. But then he had to move out of his hometown as the harassment was too great for he and his family. “He’s a coward!” it was said. No. Deescalation is not cowardice. It is supreme bravery if the circumstances were right. It just seems that the officer who arrived in media res might have asked what the deal was. Maybe he did. I wasn’t there.

I would like to share just a couple of incidents about deescalation, one related to me by a Sheriff who did the same as Officer Mader as told to me by that Sheriff himself, and another I personally saw during a heavily armed incident. Both stunning stories. I do this because I’ve seen the same off-the-charts skill sets in deescalation more recently. Hugely impressive. Let’s start with something I saw myself:

[1] The above picture is the entrance to the Fijian Parliament. I was there in the year 2000 taking over the courses for the chair of the Scripture department of the Pacific Regional Seminary which is situated to the right just some hundreds of yards away. The problem was that all the students, staff, faculty and administration to a man, to a woman, had all fled as far away as possible, even to their own countries, to avoid a somewhat violent coup d’état with 21 hostages, members of the parliament, including the Prime Minister, that was taking place in the parliament itself.

Being left behind, as it were, and being behind the last military check point, left to the whims of the hostage takers, I decided – me being me – to read all of the Bible, cover to cover, writing marginal notes and cross indexing everything in my mind and on those pages, all while walking the surf on that southeastern seaboard of the tiny country, directly in front of the parliament. :-)

Sometimes I would end up walking along the road that bordered the sometimes too violent surf, even right at the entrance of the parliament itself, even when some of the hostage takers were also out front on the road. At that point, the side of the road sported a smoking, ashen, burned out fruit bar / restaurant, and now mounting skeletons of cattle the hostage takers had been eating. Deescalation skills came in handy a number of times when I was approached. There were plenty of murders around the mostly peaceful country in now extremely tense times.

Then, just from the POV of the picture above, I saw a dozen soldiers on the one side and a dozen on the other aggressively walk-running toward each other just at this point. They all had their rifles brandished in front of them, pointing at each other, yelling whatever it is that one yells in such a situation. I ran to the left of the picture, trying to get cover from any violence that seemed sure to break out, but I must say that I had a front row seat to what would now follow. There were plenty of bullets that would zip through the seminary grounds (also right next to me, repeatedly… ah… that sound of bullets passing by your head…), so it wasn’t as if anyone was hesitant about pulling the trigger for any or no reason.

When they came together I witnessed the most incredible restraint-as-deescalation I have ever seen or can ever imagine seeing. Both sides did a kind of dance in which they would lunge at each other in the air – pointing their rifles directly at the opposition – only to drop their rifles mid-air (still secured by slings) so that their hands were free to grab the ends of the barrels of the rifles of the enemy soldiers pointing right at them. There would be a tussle for the control of weapons, but then the lunger would retreat having yelled some choice words. After some long minutes of this – and it started to get boring even as they got tired of this surreal dance – the verbal assaults turned into a somewhat more intelligible back and forth between the two leaders of the clashing parties. Surely these were demands being made and such like, you know, like delivering pizza, or re-writing the constitution. The Fijian way. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone went to school with everyone. Everyone went through United Nations military training with each other.

In other words, it’s alright to know your enemy, what he will and will not at all do in certain situations. No one was going to fire a weapon in such a situation. Zero chance. Is deescalation by restraint allowed? It can be dangerous, but yes. There may be a life or two lost here or there because of misreading of certain signs or subterfuge about the same, but hundreds or thousands of lives may be saved because of that restraint.

[2] But even more to the point, let’s take a more local law enforcement suicide-by-cop attempt that took place somewhere here in Western North Carolina (I know exactly where) and told to me by the Sheriff involved, who did the same thing as Officer Mader in the video above. That Sheriff has been reelected many times.

What happened was that the perp had purposely caused a scuffle in town, waiting for law enforcement to show up. It was the Sheriff himself. The perp ran to the nearest creek, some 1,600 feet. The Sheriff caught him, but he broke loose and jumped in the creek, now brandishing a gun and shooting “at” the Sheriff. I put “at” in scare quotes because the shots were way wide. The Sheriff immediately understood that the guy meant him no harm, but was wanting a suicide-by-cop. The Sheriff then went in after him, the perp continuing to pull the trigger, firing more shots “at” the Sheriff. The Sheriff simply tackled him, took the gun, and dragged the perp to the river bank, cuffing him and marching him back into town. The guy goes to jail. A year later, the perp asked to see the Sheriff, who went to see his “assailant.” Sure enough, the perp admitted he had been attempting to do a suicide-by-cop, and thanked the Sheriff for having saved his life with restraint as deescalation. Amazing.

The thing is, you have to keep level headed in such situations. You have to have lots of scenario training, including suicide-by-cop training. Not having that doesn’t make for a happy ending. But sometimes there are those who are super trained up:

So, however sad the situation, that was really funny. Hahahahaha. Sorry, I played this multiple times. I laughed every time.

I mean, just think about it. How many suicide-by-cop incidents, with the perp brandishing a gun, have resulted in no one being injured. Quite a few. Remember the one in which the guy just sat in a chair on the middle of a road after a spat with his girlfriend and brandished a gun? They didn’t shoot him. They knew what was going on. They quietly got a sniper in place. The sniper guy shot and hit the trigger mechanism of the gun, making the gun fly out of his hands. The perp guy didn’t even lose any fingers. But maybe some departments don’t have snipers, etc., etc. I know. I know.

And, yes, I know, all cases are different and very many times you do have to pull the trigger on someone regardless of what they say or do signifying a suicide-by-cop attempt. They are just too dangerous, too out of control, too wild. It is what it is.

Analogy with all matters spiritual in evangelization: Do we ever dismiss anyone ever because they seem to have gone too far, that they are too far gone? It’s not to be done. Our Lord is working on everyone. As long as we are alive, that in itself is proof that our Lord is giving us a chance to get to heaven.

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Filed under Deescalation, Humor, Law enforcement, Situational awareness, Suicide

Day Off Failure Drill in ammo-less USA: HOW DARE YOU FBI QIT 97 99 combo

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[For UPDATE, scroll down.] Some politicized tender snowflakes are all huffy about how they are scandalized by a priest who is a permitted and trained up concealed carrier of a Glock “assualt” pistol, you know, tender snowflakes scandalized something along the lines of…

 climate change un how dare you greta greta thunberg GIF

Thankfully, there’s no sound to that. To the scandalized, let me spend a couple of paragraphs telling a story about how my “day off” began… Hundreds of miles were racked up by Sassy the Subaru on the “day off” yesterday. I had to get someone anointed who’s in dire straits. Prayers for him, please. Yet another operation revealed just a few hours later… um… something terrible, horrible. I’ve never heard of something that bad for that. There may be more operations to come. Hail Mary…

That anointing was done on the fly at the soup kitchen, next to the dumpster in which I used to dive for a living. You gotta do what you gotta do. And… Ahhh, the memories. The following picture is someone else somewhere else, but this is exactly the position I found myself in. Tip: kicking your legs out lets the pivoting action help you drag up even heavy bags or containers and flip them out while you yourself drop to the ground. I made sure everyone was covered legally by making sure I was appointed to being in charge of the dumpster and dumpster area, keeping it all clean and swept and hosed down and in order. One person complained, but then backed off humiliated for being such a busy body when it was discovered I was also sometimes paying for the dumpster truck emptying of the dumpster. $50.00 bucks a pop. “I like to keep my affairs regular,” as Saint Thomas More said to Oliver Cromwell. ;-)

DUMPSTER DIVING

Meanwhile, on the day off, after the anointing, going back to my far-away parish by another route – still a zillion miles away – I was able to swing by the back ridges where the hermitage surveys all from on high, seen by none, even in the winter. The pics at the top of this post are of the altar of the hermitage back in the day. I did up some chapters of spiritual reading (a book on the lives of the saints, which makes for new friends across history and in heaven now). I confess that I haven’t done that in a loooong time. I think this progress in the necessary is the direct result of having more energy and being a bit clearer of mind because of the keto diet, which is still going very well. I’m hoping I’ll drop into the 230s by Christmas, having started some weeks ago in the 260s.


Now to guns and ammo stuff. After reading about the saints and doing up a few prayers, I thought it might be a good idea to do up some practice with the Glock. I haven’t done up any tactical pistol courses or even any drills for many weeks. I thought it would be good to do up what would be the most important drill with which to have some skill: the “Failure Drill.”

“Failure Drill.” That’s a rather depressing title. It has nothing to do with the permitted-carrier-victim failing to hit the body (torso) of the perp-deadly-aggressor twice (if necessary). It’s about those two hits failing to stop the aggression, say, because, as is recently the case in mass shootings, the aggressor perp guy is wearing lots of ballistic protection. The idea is then to take a shot which is more likely to take away any imminent, active threat of even dozens (more) having their lives ended: one to the head. So, I like to call this drill “The Stop the Threat Drill.” Friends in the military will laugh at that, and have, for saying stuff like that, but – Hey! – I’m a civilian, and a priest, and a Missionary of Mercy. For me it’s all about just stopping an imminent, deadly, active threat of a mass shooter. Nothing more, but nothing less. Why let someone continue to gun down even dozens of people? Stopping that threat is the way to go.

In the past, it was enjoyable to do tactical pistol courses as a way to learn how to shoot a pistol, something I’ve never even held outside of my dad’s .45 that he would carry as a bomber and then fighter attack pilot for the USMC in WWII. As a kid, that made me wide eyed. But I had never even shot a pistol once before getting my purchase permit now just over three years ago.

But those tactical pistol courses are, I’m afraid, in the past tense. That’s bad for everyone. When the chief law enforcement officer of your county (this also being a 2nd amendment sanctuary) provides a concealed carry permit to a citizen, that citizen should be well practiced in all sorts of drills and scenarios and situational awareness, the latter of which is all about awareness of how to avoid trouble in the first place, also by way of deescalation in a thousand different ways. The drills part is what’s now hurting, though I’m sure I could sail through the prerequisite drills for any N.C. concealed carry course.

When ammo was cheap and available at Walmart, I would get the Federal brass FMJ for the drills, as the relatively cheaper Winchester for my Glock 19 was catastrophic. Anyway, with so much ammo to practice with, I had the “Failure Drill” (2 to body then 1 to head) from locked holster on target out 25 feet in less than two seconds, though not consistently. The record was 1.01 seconds for all three shots. But that was when ammo was cheap and readily available.

But now, with no more cheap ammo, there’s a lot less practice. That lowers the safety for the permitted citizen who is already four times more liable to be in a deadly situation than others for countless reasons. We shouldn’t forget that the reason prompting him to get a permit is that he is likely living in or travels through or makes stops in more dangerous environs than some others. In other words, the increase in danger is not about any service that permitted citizen is doing for the benefit of society, but about the untoward aggression of the druggy violent gang culture in which we live.

Without being well practiced, the permitted-citizen-carrier might be slower to draw up on an individuated, isolated, able, imminent and active mortal threat already shooting at him or dozens of others (bullets whizzing by my head has happened many times to me in my life, an unforgettable sound), and even if drawing up is done in time, the permitted-citizen might be less accurate because of the lack of practice, and therefore less able to stop the mortal threat with efficiency. That’s bad for the citizen and bad for all others involved, including the aggressor perp, who is much more likely to survive a hit or two to the body rather than yet another one to the head if that becomes necessary (say, if he’s possibly wearing a ballistic vest or whatever, and he’s continuing to kill people). In other words, if the first shot or two are accurate enough to stop the threat, the shot to the head may not be necessary, and the perp might well survive. Isn’t that a good thing. I think it is. I mean, I would be the kind who, after stopping the threat, would grant him absolution if he were able to take it in.

As it is, my shot timer has had to continue counting the seconds longer than it ever has for the three shots of this drill, even unto many multiples of my record. Not good for anyone. Skipping all the courses, what I do now with limited bullets is just to make sure I’m consistently on target, getting the times for the three bullets of this drill down below 2 seconds before I stop the session. But that’s minimalism. That’s not good enough.

Wrapping one’s mind around the time pressure is always a bit weird. I’m not disciplined enough to get two together in the chest and then one in the head (the target being the FBI detail of the combo of the QIT 97-99 that I print out on a sheet of 8.5″ x 14″ legal paper and put 25 feet out). See the picture at the end of this post which you can dump in a word processor and print out. Cheapest best targets ever.

Because of the shot-timer, I end up “walking” the bullets up the spinal column, with the one to the head being relatively the most accurate, mostly in the 3″x3″ box at the top of the page. But then I see that that “walking” the bullets up might actually be the best methodology to stop the threat without having to go for the head shot.

Perhaps I can work up the pre-2001 Federal Air Marshal pre-flight qualifier tactical pistol course into drills which involve the “Failure Drill” described above, thus, including tactical and combat mag changes, spinning from 180 degrees to hit multiple targets, dropping to a knee, etc. That would really go through tons of ammo if each target and drill involved 2+1 bullets. For instance, 2+1 from holster while dropping to a knee while doing a combat mag-change and immediately putting out another 2+1. That’s six bullets instead of two.

I’ll have to investigate teaming up with others and getting ammo special shipped. But it’ll be a far cry from the low prices of Walmart. Ammo is as heavy as… well… lead. The trouble with that, however, is that the guys who would be interested in this aren’t really interested. They’re all military, and without much practice at all, if ever, they’re spectacular shots, totally upset if they get a result of 99 points on a 100 point course.


Back to tender snowflake scandal: Don’t be scandalized. This is recreation now rarely and then only very briefly on a day off that is otherwise taken up with priestly stuff. You wouldn’t begrudge a priest some time off, would you?

  • “The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’ People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat. So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place.” (Mark 6:30-32 nab)

Of course, even in the backsides of the beyonds, the phone rings. Yesterday it was Father Gordon. We had a great conversation. And it was also another priest. We also had a great conversation. Or is all that forbidden too? It is to laugh. But it’s also sad that people spend their time being trolls, repeating again and again:

“How dare you?! How dare you?!”

FBI QIT 99 97 legal

FBI QIT 99-97 combo detail. If you copy and paste into a word processor document set for legal size paper and with minimum margins, and then stretch the picture out to fill the page, you should have the exact measurements on the page. Paste to any cardboard and attach that so a “pigtail” wire (used for political lawn signs) available at Lowes, and you’ll be good to go.

UPDATE: So, I was informed just now of an ammo shop some states away though actually closer than I normally go on my day off. Their reloaded ammo, if bought in quantity, is only a few more bucks than Walmart used to sell new ammo. We’ll have to see if the reloaded ammo works. They have no new 9mm ammo.

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Filed under Day Off, Guns, Humor

Keto Day 13: Humor for Jabba the Hut

Starting Keto day 13 and 10.1 pounds have taken a hike. Probably water weight, but ketosis did begin the day after beginning.

I’m having a great time with this diet as it gives me a chance to express the sometimes OCD aspect of fallen human nature: “Where am I with my actual numbers so far today vs my macros?” That’s all checked any number of times during the day. But at the beginning of the day those macros are recalculated after weighing myself and then my recalculating Body Mass Index. The macros change but little, but – hey! – those little changes add up and make for a lot of positive feedback.

It’s also good to get some real encouragement from others. That comes because I complain: “Some people go out of their way to convince me to break my diet.” It’s either the “Keto diets are dangerous!” approach, or the “I’ve made something really nice for you to eat!” approach. But then encouragement comes in from others: “No, you do what you need to do. Stick to your diet. Ignore them.” Good to hear. It’s surprising the persistence of those who don’t want your success. Maybe that’s because they should be doing something about dieting as well. But I digress, though not really, as sticktoitedness is key.

As to the humor: I was Keto food shopping at the local supermarket and was having a conversation about Keto and “grass fed butter” at the butter section of the dairy section with one of my parishioners. It was a pretty lively discussion, rambunctious enough that a lady of unknown acquaintance pushed her shopping cart into the midst and declared with the most gorgeous Southern accent I ever heard with an equally pleasant smile, yet with incisive humor:

  • “Glory be! I ain’t not never heard a no grass fed butter, grass fed cows maybe, but no grass fed butter.”

Hahaha! It’s good to have some humor about this kind of thing.

Meanwhile, a parishioner supplied me with some fish, and another parishioner (the same in the story above) gave gave me part of a cow he had slaughtered. Mmm mmm. I love Keto.

Meanwhile, the goal of Keto for me is not to go from the obese Jabba the Hut to the slender Chewbacca, but rather to be the Lord’s good guard-donkey-priest of the Lord’s little flock that He wants me to be (noting, always, that wolves and coyotes and foxes are all good to eat on any Keto menu):

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Filed under Diet, Humor

Arrest mugshot PD Ride-Along DOC Humor: Then some remembrance…

O.K., so it should be obvious that these are not real mugshots, what with glasses, a heap of hospital and nursing home and Police Ride-Along and otherwise volunteer tags hanging around my neck, etc. Note also, there is no DOC superimposed metadata, and no underlying metadata other than from a handheld phone by arresting LEO (of the actual suspect!). Note also the POV of the LEO. This is not the stationary camera of the DOC but a handheld phone (note the different heights).

Perhaps I protesteth too much. Hahaha.

But it’s good to have a bit of humor going on, leading up to and coming out of whatever situations.

There are other times which are carried in one’s heart and soul, always and at all times. Humor does not lift one out of the reality of the times in which we live, but rather, humor puts an edge, on the one hand, on the absurdity of crime and and violence, and, on the other hand, humor also puts an edge on the dedication and prompt service of our public safety officers which they accomplish regardless of the risk they take.

Lest we forget, this is in Las Vegas some years ago, but this is representative of so very many similar situations that can happen at any time, anywhere, to any officers who are serving us all:

The LEOs I know have extraordinary skills in deescalation. People sometimes wonder why it is that officers cannot deescalate all situations. Sometimes, as in the situation recounted in the video above, any skills in deescalation are useless. One is thrown immediately into an active critical incident situation with only nanoseconds to respond. What we see in the video above is officers running into critical incident danger. Two die. Would you and I be so very ready to do the same? Lord, help us.

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Filed under Humor, Law enforcement, Officer Down!

Dear Lord: things that make me laugh – “Hold my beer!” Hahahahaha!

“HOLD MY BEER!”

There’s all sorts of theories about laughter.

  1. For some it can indicate an appreciation of our sudden knowledge of any lack of appreciation we have for irony, which is an entirely joyful experience. I pity those who are not humble enough to be open to what is also an occasion of great joy in the Holy Spirit. G.K. Chesterton once quipped that without a sense of irony one cannot even begin to be a Christian. Just take a look at Jesus on the Cross, taking on the  justice we deserve so that He might have the right in His own justice to have mercy on us.
  2. For others, who tend to be way over-analytic and controlling and have an internet degree in psychobabble, laughter is an embarrassing confession of guilt about whatever the subject inducing the laughter happens to be. But it is precisely that kind of overbearing person, note the biting irony, who can bring out a nervous laughter in others, those others laughing at the irony of such a bully trying to show off as the always being the most balanced person in the room. Such monsters never laugh. Liberals never have any fun.

This History Guy video on Tommy Fitzpatrick made me laugh. You have to know that my dad and Tommy were very much like each other, including the drink (ooooh! “drink!”). The only difference is that I don’t think dad ever ended up in the slammer for his piloting antics. Or maybe I just didn’t hear those stories. I also remember the Ash Wednesday when dad stopped drinking and smoking cold turkey. All of a sudden we had buckets of Werther’s sugar free hard caramels and a thousand varieties of sugar free hard candies to be found at home, at his office, in the cars, on camping trips.

So, what’s funny about all this, enough to make one laugh? It hits home because I don’t drink in dad’s honor, and I love Werther’s sugar free hard caramels. Dad found his strength in going to daily Mass. He’s a hero to me. I suppose psychobabblers would just say that I’m an alcoholic just waiting to happen. The biting irony is that:

  • I admit that I’m a sinner in any way just waiting to happen, as in: “There but for the grace of God go I,” but I’m asking Jesus that I not follow that graceless life because of God’s grace, and only because of God’s grace.
  • The psychobabblers who disdain the rest of humanity from on high, it being that they are better than all others, don’t at all appreciate the grace of God coming from the One who, in their opinion, was obviously guilty of all crimes, hanging as He did upon a tree. And then they end up being the ones who crucify Him.

Does God laugh? Here are a couple of examples:

  • But the Lord will laugh them to scorn (Wisdom 4:18) [and if you Protesteth too much about the Book of Wisdom in and of itself, try this…]
  • But the Lord laughs at them (Psalm 37:13)

Here’s the deal, I’m the son of my father. Throughout my life, to this day, if there’s anything I would like to do and someone says I can’t do  it and it’s even remotely in my wheelhouse – and it’s moral and legal – that’s what you’ll find me doing, damn the torpedoes. In other words, to quote somebody:

“HOLD MY BEER!”

By the way and to the point: I’m having a rather incisive back and forth with someone – um – rather important, about issues affecting the entire Church. A Hail Mary, please, and, again:

“HOLD MY BEER!”

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Filed under Humor, Missionaries of Mercy

“Were you arrested, Father George?” Karaoke and Law Enforcement…

screenshot_20190923-0506241208792402499853001.png

  • Father George: “Hey, Father Gordon, guess what I did for the first time in my life last night.”
  • Father Gordon: “What’s that, Father George?”
  • Father George: “I did Karaoke! Two songs!”
  • Father Gordon: [deadpan voice] “Were you arrested?” [as such a bad voice is so offensive it should, of course, be outlawed]
  • Father George: “No, no. The first song I did was with one of our Police Officers, already some eight years in the Navy and still keeping up with training as he’s in the Reserves. Great singer. I think he gets some voice-time on patrol. (See the picture above). The other song was with him again, but this time adding a deputy retired after twenty five years with the Sheriff’s Department up in Milwaukee.” (See the picture below).

screenshot_20190923-0504318037414083500668487.png

There were some two dozen present. Lots of food. Lots of drink. I had Ginger Ale, though I have nothing against responsible consumption. The easiest song to sing had but one word, “Tequila!”

The Karaoke controller’s wife had the most difficult song with an impossible range. She did great. Being from the Philippines where Karaoke is ubiquitous and continuous, she’s had plenty of practice, though I must say the cop has got quite the range as well, as well as a friend of theirs who I thought might have to try out for America’s Got Talent.

Johnny Cash songs were the most popular. Lots of older stuff. And we had two languages going on. A Mexican couple did the obligatory La Bamba and their family did quite a number of songs, with their daughter also singing in English.

If you must know, the ones yours truly participated in are “You bring me back to life”

and then, from way back in the day, Buffalo Springfield’s “For what it’s worth.”

I hesitate to put up the videos they took of us singing, as I’ve already been trounced by the trolls for my obvious lack of dancing ability as well:

byers dance paul vi audience hall

Is humor forbidden? Is making others laugh outlawed? Is having a good time with friends the most terrible sin? Didn’t Jesus come eating and drinking? Are we all John the Baptist? What did Jesus say about Wisdom’s children?

O.K. So, here’s a few seconds of each song.

This is a post tagged as humor, so, there it is. Hahaha.

When people say that this is NOT the time for humor, the situation is dire. “We must be more serious!” they say. — Well, when people say that, that’s precisely the time to have some humor.

Are there not plenty of saints who, when asked what they would do if they knew that the world would be ending in ten minutes, their answer was “I would continue to do whatever it is that I was already doing, for it is a worthy occupation also in the spiritual life when whatever we do is done in the Lord and for Him.”

“But Reverend Father Byers! Reverend Father Byers! Haven’t we had enough of humanizing the priesthood already?!”

Nope. Not at all. Actually, there’s been way too much putting priests on pedestals, literally, up the steps of the high altar where the high altar and tabernacle have been done away with so that we have a new “god,” you know, those priests who think they are better than the Most Holy Trinity, thinking they can change the truth of doctrine and morality when the Most Holy Trinity cannot do that. Heck with all that rubbish. Jesus is the one. He’s the only one. Time for priests to be HUMAN, however much they are laudably dedicated to Jesus, the Divine High Priest. We ordained priests are nothing, and we had better get out of the way of Jesus so that Jesus’ priesthood with His love and His truth is manifested through us.

Do I obscure Jesus by a bit of a few minutes of singsong, by a few seconds (literally) of dance? I should hope not. I’m guessing that that would not be my fault, but the fault of those who are just overflowing with condemnation always and everywhere for everyone, but themselves.

It’s precisely the humor that can bring people in, by inviting to them, you know, while at the same time not abandoning truth and justice. Actually, one can insist on truth and justice more when one is also appropriately humorous.

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Filed under Humor, Law enforcement