Father George, what language do you use for Holy Mass?

“So, if we sing the Kyrie eleison, that would be Greek.”

• “You’re bad and evil Father George! You’re racist. It’s all Greek to me! Use English!”

“So, if we ever sing ‘Amen‘ at any time during Holy Mass, that would be Hebrew.”

• “You’re bad and evil Father George! You’re racist. It’s all Greek to me! Use English!”

“So, if we ever say ‘Hosannah‘ at any time during Holy Mass, that would be Hebrew.”

• “You’re bad and evil Father George! You’re racist. It’s all Greek to me! Use English!”

“So, then, let’s just start with the Sign of the Cross: ‘In…'”

• “Nooooo! Stop it! You said ‘In’… and that’s, like, a Latin preposition, meaning ‘in’ in English! You’re bad and evil Father George! You’re racist. It’s all Greek to me! Use English!”

“Like I was saying, ‘In the name…'”

• “AND BESIDES! STOP SINGING LATIN MARIAN ANTIPHONS! JUST SING IMMACULATE MARY!”

“That would be Latin ‘Immaculate’ and Hebrew ‘Mary’.”

• “Stop making fun of us, Father George! You’re bad and evil. You’re racist. All your Latin and Hebrew and Greek is all Greek to me! Use English!”

“Opstay akingmay unfay ofay usay, Atherfay Eorgegay! You’reay adbay anday evilay. You’reay acistray. Allay you’reay Atinlay anday Ebrewhay anday eekGray isay allay eekGray otay emay! Useay Englishay!”

• “Could you repeat that, Father George? I think you’re making fun of me.”

“Opstay akingmay unfay ofay usay, Atherfay Eorgegay! You’reay adbay anday evilay. You’reay acistray. Allay you’reay Atinlay anday Ebrewhay anday eekGray isay allay eekGray otay emay! Useay Englishay!”

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Perhaps sotto voce is a good practice after all. Introibo…